Sunday, December 18, 2011

Lots to update...

Man, I didn't realize its been over a month since I posted an update...I'll try and give as much information as I can...

Total weight loss so far: 51.9 lbs

I hit my 50 lb lost mark two weeks before I went on vacation. I was thrilled! I didn't think I was going to do it and it was a total surprise. I treated myself to a hair cut and felt really good. Then things went downhill...

The week before vacation, I was sort of bad when it came to food. I did a lot of snacking and indulging at work. Then I went out to dinner with Shannon and Nicole and wound up eating a buffalo chicken sandwich, fries, ranch, and drinking some very fruity (and high calorie) drinks. I had a blast and, while I considered not doing so, I tracked everything. I weighed in at my mom's house (because we were leaving early on Tuesday) and managed to lose .9 lbs so I was relieved...I didn't want to have a gain two weeks in a row.

So we left for vacation...and my eating went to hell. I didn't even PRETEND to try. I was eating fast food, fried food, sweets, drinking alcohol, and not measuring a single thing. Even my pre-measured snacks for the road trip didn't help. I knew that I would struggle but I had hoped I would have a little more will power. I don't regret any of it...I had an amazing time and enjoyed every bit. But I thought I would have had some more internal control by now. When I got back and weighed in, I was up 5 pounds...not my proudest moment.

Since being back (about 3 weeks now), I have been losing but struggling to really stay on track. I've slipped back into not weighing and measuring everything and I have been snacking at work (and even at home) more than I should. I have slowly been improving and working on holding myself accountable, even when I'm ashamed of my eating habits. I try and go back and track everything because when I neglect my tracker I feel even more guilty. Thankfully, the holidays are almost over so I'm hoping some of the temptation will go away.

I'm just trying really hard to get re-focused and remember why I am doing this. I don't want to be over 200lbs for the rest of my life...I'd really like to be close to my goal weight by this time next year. So I need to go back, review my plan, and stop making excuses and justifications. I know what I need to do...just got to kick my own butt in gear...

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Long time...

So I know its been almost a month since my last post...I have no excuse other than a heavy work load and lack of motivation.
An update on the lost pounds...I'm down 47.2 lbs. A bit disappointed that I haven't hit my 50 lb mark yet. But I have no one to blame but myself.

I've fallen off the wagon...okay, scratch that...I'm still on the wagon but I'm hanging off the edge and my feet are dragging on the ground. I have been doing to many things that I know I shouldn't and I've gotten fed up with myself. My snacking has been out of control. Not only have I been indulging in unmeasured and non-counted chocolate and chips at work but I have also been grazing like crazy at home. If I'm waiting for dinner to cook or trying to decide what to make, I'll grab a cracker here, a few chips there, some almonds, and maybe even some pepperoni without tracking any of it. I've  gone back to eating a lot of processed and junk food. There have been many Taco Bell evenings...even a night of McDonald's (during which I didn't even consider WW...lets just say my meal was only -10 from what I get for the WHOLE DAY!). Chips, boxed pasta/mac&cheese, cookies, and candy have taken over my snacking. My fruit and veggie intake has decreased. Its just not pretty.

My weight loss has slowed (I've been under 1 lb per week for the last 4 weeks) and my satisfaction with myself has decreased. But I know I can recommit and do this. I've spent the last hour or so re-reading some of the WW plan materials that you receive when you first join. I'm re-committing myself to making my lunches and stop the grazing and snacking without tracking. I am going to work on going to the gym and really push hard to get back on track. I can't let myself fall off now...the holidays are going to be tough and I'm determined to go into them strong minded and motivated.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Weigh-In #23 (I think...)

Weight loss this week: .4 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 45.9 lbs

So I lost again this week...which makes me happy. I didn't over indulge too much on the most amazing Italian food I've ever tasted which makes me even happier. And stress at work is slowly decreasing which, again, makes me happy.

I did have a brief lapse of not caring about counting this weekend...really it was only with these strangly addicting Jalepeno and Monterey Jack Sun Chips. I've had them previously but for some reason, this weekend, they were irresistable. So I had a few more servings than I put in my tracker...but I still stayed within my weekly points so I'm ok.

Things are going ok...planning on trying to get into a workout routine again...fingers crossed...

Monday, October 3, 2011

Getting back on track...

So a few updates on weight...

Last weigh-in (the 23rd) I had gained a pound. Weigh in today, I was down 3.7lbs...putting me at a total of 45.5lbs lost so far. Only 4.5lbs til I hit my 50lb mark...and I can't wait!

Things have been a little out of control. The week of the mud run wasn't exactly as healthy as I would have liked and I think I may have been retaining some water after the 5K (hence the 1 lb gain). And while I had a significant loss this week, I haven't been as on top of my eating as I like to be.

Work was causing some serious stress and, in turn, some poor eating choices (not that I can blame my choices on my job). It was count week and having 50+ students by myself was outrageously overwhelming. Between the stress and the constant presence of junk food at the office (and the lack of time to really eat lunch), I resorted to a lot of fast food and too much snacking. Friday was probably one of the worst days. It was our official count day and I was literally working with my team in the office until midnight. We were fed by the school all day...and my intake consisted of a banana and yogurt (not a bad breakfast), a cheeseburger and bag of Doritos, bad Italian food (pasta, bread, chicken parm, and some crap salad), Gardettos snack mix, and cookies...ouch. Thankfully, I didn't show a gain!

I was able to go grocery shopping on Saturday and picked up a lot of food for the house. I plan on really getting back on track these coming weeks. We don't have the money to eat out this month so that will really cut out the fast food intake. My only concern is that Kyle's grandparents are coming to town for a few weeks. I'm really excited to meet them...and I'm really excited to try his grandmother's cooking (think legit Italian food from a legit Sicilian lol)...but I don't think my weight will be too psyched. I'm just going to try really hard to watch my portions and not go over there starving.

Fingers crossed that reduced work stress will help me get on track.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Dirty Girl Mud Run

So...before I get into the mud run...I realize I haven't posted weigh-in updates in two weeks. Since my last post, I've lost 1.5lbs putting my total weight loss at 42.6lbs. I'll try and get better about posting weekly again.

Moving on...today was the Dirty Girl Mud Run. I was unprepared...I was nervous...but I am so grateful that Beth pushed me to do it!

Our wave left the starting line at 11:45am. The first thing that comes up was the hay-bale climb. From far away, it looked like no big deal...but once you got right up to it, it was definitely huge. But I was able to complete that with little to no problem. Right after that was the tube crawl. Then came the water pit...first chance to get dirty! The water was cold and it was weird to walk with squishy shoes but it was fun. Next was the high leg tires...I did it slowly because I have short legs and am far from coordinated. The next was one of my favorites...the mud hill climb and descent. They had ropes that you held to try and climb up. The first one, I fell and slid down on my belly. But I got back up and completed it. Going down was fun...slide down on your butt and wind up in a mud pit at the end...totally dirty! The second one I was able to complete easier. The mud up the butt was a little unpleasant...but I sure was grateful I didn't wear shorts lol. We came to the hanging tires next...that was pretty simple. Then the net crawl...the first one you walked under and just lifted the net...the next one required you to crawl. Next was the wall...this was the only obstacle I skipped. I was a little sad to skip it but it was really scary and I just couldn't get over it. The second to last obstacle was the cargo net climb...oh man was that thing TALL! I was terrified...shaking and having a tough time catching my breath. I almost didn't do it...but thanks to Beth and some other awesome ladies, I managed to conquer it! And finally...there was the mud pit...it was more like water but it was and awesome way to end it none the less.

I am now home...sunburned...exhausted...sore...and totally thrilled that I did it! It was so much fun and I couldn't have picked a better partner to get me through it! I walked the whole way...but I made it and that is all that matters! I definitely plan on doing it again next year and I will be recruiting more people :)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Disappointed

So I know I didn't update last week's weigh-in...sorry about that. I spend so much time on my computer and phone for work that blogging is the last thing on my mind most days.

I lost .4 lbs last week taking my grand total to 41.1 lbs lost so far.

I'm not disappointed in my progress in weight loss. I'm still extremely excited that I've managed to lose 40 lbs since mid-April. What I'm disappointed in is myself and my motivation...or rather, lack there of.

I cannot seem to get into the swing of exercising. I don't know what it is...I don't know if its a mental thing or if I'm lazy or if there is something else going on. I'm just so tired...a lot. I know most of it is due to working long hours, working a job that requires me to think (something I haven't had to do in over a year and a half), and stress (both work and personal). But the ironic thing is that exercise would very likely help relieve my stress and boost my energy...sounds like something I should want to do, right? I do WANT to do it...I do. But I guess I just lack the internal motivation to do so. I have thought about trying to get a personal trainer but I honestly couldn't afford it even if I tried. So, what do I do?

I set my alarm every night with enough time for me to get up and work out for an hour in the morning. Do I get up? Of course not! I reset my alarm and wake up at the last possible moment. I tell myself I'll work out after work. Do I make it to the gym? Of course not! I come home, plant myself on the couch, and watch tv while I work. I tell myself I'll go for a walk in the evenings. Has that happened? Once...and not again since then, even though I've said it almost every single day since. What the hell is wrong with me?

The Dirty Girl Mud Run is 2 weeks away...2 weeks! I haven't even walked 3.2 miles yet. I am going to embarass the hell out of myself...I'm honestly just praying that adrenenline will carry me through most of it.

I'm embarrassed that I can't even motivate myself enough to do the things that I need to do to be healthy. Yes, my eating habits have improved significantly and I'm still losing weight. But I NEED to exercise...I know I'll feel better about myself and actually start seeing my weight loss. I mean...40 lbs later and I'm still wearing the same pants I wore when I started. They may be loose...but I can still wear them. I dunno...maybe I'm throwing myself a pity party. Maybe I just need to kick myself in the ass somehow. Maybe I'm scared I can't really do this.

Whatever it is...it sucks.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Weigh In #18 and #19

So I didn't blog last week because things at work are so unbelievably busy...so here is the update

Weight loss last week: .4lbs

Weight loss this week: 2.4lbs

Total weight loss so far: 40.6lbs

Things are NUTS!! Truly. With us being in the middle of enrollment and opening a new site...AND being a new teacher...its like the work never ends. I work all day...then come home and work...and I work more on the weekends. I generally am working from 9am-10pm daily and it varies on the weekends.

Because of all this craziness, my eating habits are sporadic at best. There were a few days last week that I ate breakfast (and by breakfast I mean a yogurt in the car) and then didn't eat again until dinner at 8pm. I just didn't have time. I'm working really hard at creating boundaries and making sure I take care of myself. Its just been so easy to get so sucked in to work because there is always more to do. I cannot wait until enrollment is over and things settle down.

Overall, I'm thrilled with my progress. Trying to get in some exercise because the Dirty Girl is less than a month away...

Monday, August 15, 2011

Weigh-In #17

Weight loss this week: 2.6 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 37.7 lbs

I am super stoked about my loss this week! I love that the weight keeps coming off...even when I feel like I'm not as on top of stuff as I should be. I am most likely my worst critic but it is nice to see that my effort continues to pay off. I am only 12.3 lbs away from my 50lb goal and I couldn't be more excited!

I am trying to put in a better effort with exercising. My wonderful friend Beth pushed me to continue with my goal of completing the Dirty Girl Mud Run. I was going to back out...partially due to finances...mostly due to fear. But after talking to her, I realized that I would be far more disappointed in myself if I didn't try rather than tried and didn't quite make it. So...I am back into trying to prep myself. My plan is to start working out twice a day...20 minutes of Zumba in the morning and then 30min - 1 hour at the gym or outside in the evening. Last Friday was my last day of evening tutoring so its going to be a lot easier to get in some exercise after work. Kyle and I are going to explore a trail that is right by our apartment...it goes for a long way so we are going to figure out where the 3.2 mile mark would be and practice going that way. I want to make sure that I get experience walking/running outside as well as on the treadmill.

Overall, things are going well...I am trying to get back into the swing of healthy eating after getting thrown off with the new job. But with tutoring being over and getting into the swing of things at work, I know I'll be back on track soon! Hopefully I'll hit the 50lb mark by November!!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Weigh-In #16

Weight loss this week: .4 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 35.1 lbs

So not the best but I'm glad I lost something...especially because this weekend was a complete mess!

Friday night, Kyle and I hung out at his parents. He was there all day while I worked so as soon as I was finished...I headed over there. I was already hungry when I got there but I knew dinner was going to be awhile. Everyone was enjoying drinks and I wanted to do so as well...which was probably a mistake. I ended up having a total of 3 drinks (equaling 12 points worth of vodka). Then dinner came about. They got these spicy Asian boneless wings from the grocery store...and they were amazing! Being both hungry and drinking...I ate 8 of them with abandon. Then they ordered New York style pizza...and I had a slice and a half...not good. I ended up guesstimating what my points were for the night...it totalled around 45 points for dinner! That is more than my daily allowance!!! Thank goodness I still had most of my weeklies and 20 points left for the day so I didn't go over!

Saturday was decent...I had a great time hanging out with Shannon! We walked around the Colorado Mills Mall for about an hour (totalling something like 2 miles worth of walking) and then went to Chili's for lunch. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with steamed broccoli instead of fries. I should have gotten the sandwich without the cheese and bacon...but it sounded so good and I had a ton of points left for the day...so I went with it. I did have a really hard time calculating the points though because I kept getting different answers from different sites. But I over-estimated to be safe and I was ok.

Yesterday was busy because I went to the Rockies game in the afternoon with Dani and a few friends. It was unbelievably hot and we only stayed for half the game. But my eating wasn't great...I had Qdoba for lunch because I was so hungry after the game.

Clearly I didn't plan well this weekend. I had a lot of high sodium foods but overall, I did alright. I'm just hoping to get back on track and have a good weigh in this week...

Monday, August 1, 2011

Weigh-In #15

Weight loss this week: 3.3 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 34.7 lbs

I was totally shocked at my loss this week. I worked out twice last week which I was happy about...I'm hoping to up that number this week to at least 2 days. My eating habits were really out of whack though. I wasn't making the healthiest choices...there were two days when I didn't hit all my GHG's...and I ate fast food twice. I had a few days when I didn't eat all my points. I had two days that I had to guesstimate points for a meal. And I ate a ton on Sunday...just boredom eating...not because I was hungry.

While I didn't do terribly and it clearly didn't have a negative effect on my weight loss, I want to get back on track this week. I have been struggling because with the new job, things are a bit out of whack because we don't have a site yet. So I'm all over the place, driving back and forth to Westminster a lot and not having a set schedule. This has messed with my eating schedule a lot. I just need to find time to adjust.

This week I want to up my work outs and try and be more active on the weekend. I have plans on Saturday to walk around the mall with Shannon so that will be good. I also have set a new goal for myself. I want to have lost 50 lbs by the week of Thanksgiving. Kyle and I are going to try to go to Arizona and California to visit some family and I want to be at that mark by then.

I am going to get back on track and really focus this week. I just need to learn to adjust to changes, because this is for life!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Weigh-In #14

Weight loss this week: .7 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 31.4 lbs

So it wasn't the best week but it was still a loss.

Not a lot to say right now...digging the new job but up to my ears with stuff to do...

I'll try and update a little more fully later this week.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Weigh-In #13

Total weight loss this week: 1.5 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 30.7 lbs

I finally hit my 30lb goal!!!!!!!! I wanted to hit it before I was supposed to go on vacation...and while I am no longer going on said vacation due to my new job, I still hit that goal. And even more exciting...I get to go get my hair cut this week!!!! WOOT!!!!!!

I also hit my 10% goal today. I have officially lost 10% of my starting weight! I am so unbelievably excited!

Last week wasn't my proudest but I am back on track this week and ready to go. I will (not try but absolutely will) work out at least 3 times this week. I know that it will help my energy level, make me feel better, and help my clothes fit better. So that is my biggest goal for this week!

I also need to post some pictures. I never posted my "before" pictures...I actually never even took any. I think I'll have Kyle take picture of me tonight so I can start the progression from here. I also need to take my measurements. I do know they have changed because I can comfortably fit into my slacks when a few months ago they were extremely tight!

Here's to a good week!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Groceries!!

So I've been really low on groceries the last few weeks...we have been maintaining a small amount of fruit and veggies but really haven't been stocked up the way I like. We had run out of most vegetables (with the exception of carrots) and only had cherries and apples for fruit...we were out of ground turkey and almost out of lunch meat. Thankfully (thought somewhat regrettably) I did not have to pack lunches all week thanks to training at the new job.

Today I went CRAZY at the grocery stores (rather stores considering I hit 3). I spent over $200 (it was actually closer to $300...yikes!)...and I don't think I've been this well stocked in quite some time. Our fridge and freezer are completely full...it took some serious tetris-like skills to fit everything in. I did go over my grocery budget by about $70 so I do have some financial maneuvering to do...but I am thrilled to have a nice stock of food.

I am excited because I bought a few items I haven't had before. I got eggplant, mozzarella and roasted garlic chicken sausage, and Flat-outs. We made the chicken sausage on the grill and put them on hot dog buns with sauteed onion and red and green bell pepper. They were quite good and really low in points (the sausage is 3 pts per link and the buns are only 2 pts)! I plan on trying to roast the eggplant...or maybe do something like eggplant parm. Flat-outs are a type of wrap...people on the WW message boards talk about them all the time. They are supposed to be really low in points and really versatile. I got two packages because it was buy one get one free.

There were a few things that I had to skip on but I'm hoping to be able to pick them up when I get paid from my new job in about two weeks. I am going to need more pork chops and chicken...I also really want to try polenta, quiona, Vitatops, and kale. I have heard that polenta and quiona are really versatile and can add some heartiness to meals quite easily. Vitatops are a type of muffin product...they are relatively low on points and I found a recipe for whoopie pies using Vitatops and fat free Cool Whip...low point desserts are always good finds! I also learned from the WW boards that people make kale chips...they toss them in olive oil and salt and them roast them until crispy. I'm trying really hard to expand my options and get creative with snacks and meals.

This week has been a bit off in terms of eating...well...I'd say that is probably an understatement. I've eaten a supplied lunch every day this week. I did everything I could to eat as healthy as possible given the circumstances. Thursday and Friday were relatively easy because they had boxed lunches...I had a turkey sandwich on wheat (with American cheese one day...I peeled it off on Friday), some potato chips, and an apple...I brought the brownie home for Kyle both days even though it looked delicious!

I only worked out once this week...and it wasn't great. I was walking and jogging but my back hurt really badly. It started to run down my hip and shin...it hurt just to walk. So I ended up walking for about 17 min and only jogging for about 3 min. I then lifted some weights for about 5-10 minutes. I think I am going to try and go see a chiropractor soon...see if maybe an alignment will help my back problems. After that, I didn't work out...my schedule was so crazy. I think things will settle out next week and I have plans on hitting my exercise goals.

 I'm hoping my weight will go down this week but I'm a bit unsure. With things so out of whack, it is a toss up. Fingers crossed!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Weigh-In #12

Weight loss this week: +.4lbs
Total weight loss so far: 29.2 lbs

Ya...I gained. But honestly...it didn't upset me as much as I it did last time. I think I've learned that gains happen...no matter how good my diet is going. My body is going to fluctuate and I can't let that derail me.

With that said...I am a little bummed I gained this week. I was so hoping to hit my 30 lb goal this week so I could go get my hair cut. But still...29 lbs in 12 weeks is great...way more than I anticipated. And hopefully I'll hit my goal next week!

Last week was a little crazy. Kyle had to watch his nephew until Wednesday which caused a huge change in our schedule. It messed up dinner plans...changed how I was preparing my lunch...and messed with my sleep schedule. I also was preparing to leave the job I've been at for 1 1/2 years. My eating habits were all a bit off kilter last week for all of the reasons above. There was a lot of eating out along with some sweet cravings (I gave in to them but in the healthiest manner possible...black bean brownies and fruit). I did have a ridiculously decadent cupcake on Friday at work. Swill's fiance made black forest chocolate cupcakes with a chocolate covered cherry on top for my last day. I had to have one! It was delicious...worth it...but really hard to track.

I did do 2 days of my C25K last week...I wanted to do 3 but I didn't. Still...I was glad I actually started. I plan on repeating week 1 because I found the jogging so difficult. I plan on doing at least 3 days of exercise this week (all 3 days of C25K and hopefully more). I went and bought myself some running shoes. Maybe not the most amazing shoes available but they are comfortable and meant for running!

This week, I have some challenges in front of me. I am in training at my new job and it seems like they may be catering breakfast and lunch all week. Breakfast is easy to skip because I'll eat before I leave. Lunch is harder...everyone eats together and its hard to dip out to eat my pre-packed lunch. Today I did order with my team but I chose as healthy of an option as I could...6" turkey and provolone sub (no mayo) and a side of fruit (instead of chips). I may have to work on finding an excuse to eat my lunch though because I can't continue to have lunches like that the rest of the week.

On a totally unrelated but exciting note...my new job supplied me with a laptop, smart phone, printer, and portable scanner. Woot for new toys!

Hopefully I can be strong this week and bring in at least a 1 lb loss next week!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Ouch!

I don't know if it is because I ran for the first time in...well...I don't even know how long...last night.

I don't know if its because I slept in Kyle's parents bed for the last two nights (and I don't find it very comfortable).

Maybe its a combination of the two.

But whatever it is...I hurt! My shoulders, neck, back, and legs are all yelling obscenities at me...

I did my first day of C25K last night and I am ashamed to admit it kind of kicked my butt. The first week, you do 20 minutes of alternating walking (90 seconds) and jogging (60 seconds) for 3 days. Should have been easy, right? Running for a minute at a time...psshh...no big deal. I wish! I felt like I got run over by a truck in the best way. I was bummed that it was so difficult for me but I was really proud of myself for actually doing it, considering my desire to go to the gym at 8:30pm was non-existent.

I'm really hoping the running gets easier...and I want to pick up my walking pace too. I need to get better shoes though. The ones I have are cheapy gym shoes from Target that I bought like 4 years ago. Not exactly the best running shoes. They make my feet hurt like crazy! Unfortunately...running shoes are really expensive. I may have to find a way to earn some extra cash or beg it out of my dad or something. Because running a 5K in the shoes I have now will be beyond miserable.

Tonight is going to be day 2...same thing again...lets hope I don't die...

Monday, July 4, 2011

Weigh-In #11

Weight loss this week: 3.1 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 29.6 lbs

So I am super excited about my weigh in this week. I actually almost forgot to weigh myself this morning because I had to be at work an hour and a half earlier than usual. But when I hopped on the scale, I was shocked. I almost anticipated a gain this week because I ate out a LOT last week. I had Subway, Noodles&Co, Red Robin, and Qdoba! Not exactly good for my salt intake. When I wasn't eating out, I did really well with my eating habits but I thought all that sodium might hit me hard. But now I am only .4 lbs away from my 30 lb goal! A much needed haircut is definitely in the near future!

I start the C25K program this week and I am really excited. My friend Beth has decided to do the Dirty Girl Mud Run with me and now I'm even more excited for it! The more I thought about it and my fears, I realized it was stupid to let my insecurities get in my way. I've been doing that my entire life. This is a lifestyle change for me and letting go of my fears is definitely a change that needs to be made! So, I will be looking for sponsors to help cover my registration fee...I'm considering adding a link to my Paypal account on here so you can donate directly...but until then...if anyone wants to sponsor me, just let me know :)

More exciting news has come my way...on Friday, I was offered a job at GOAL Academy! GOAL is an online, alternative high school charter school. I will be the academic counselor for about 40-50 at-risk high school students. I'll be their main point of contact, the person they go to if they need help, and I'll be in charge of monitoring their progress and keeping them on track. It will be a HUGE change of pace from what I've been doing for the last year and a half. I'm so unbelievably excited to start getting involved in education. While my degree is elementary based, I really think I will do well in this. It feels like I've been searching for an education related job for forever and one finally worked out!

I will be a little sad to leave my ID Watchdog peeps. While this job has not been my ideal, I have had the pleasure of working with some awesome people and they will be missed. My boss, Rick, could not have been more congratulatory or kind (even though I was only able to give a weeks notice...training starts July 11th) and I am so grateful for that!

Things are definitely going well and I am thrilled. I'm excited to start my new exercise program and even more excited to start my new job! Crazy changes are coming my way!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Embarking on a new journey...

So...as we all know...my exercise habits have not been up to par. I find excuses and I lack motivation (which is quite possibly the understatement of the year). But I do WANT to be more active. Really...I do! I am tired a lot and I know that regular activity will boost my energy. It will also help my weight loss and make my body look significantly better.

So...how do I find the motivation?

Well, I think I may have found...well, not a solution...but something that will kick my butt into gear.

I am (if I get up the guts) going to be entering into the Dirty Girl Mud Run.

The Dirty Girl Mud Run is a 5K challenge that will take place on September 26th. It is not only a 5K (3.2 miles seems challenging enough) but it also includes 10 obstacles. All the proceeds go towards breast cancer research which is even cooler. To read more about it or view the course you can visit the website at: http://www.godirtygirl.com/. Sounds both super fun and extremely terrifying!

A friend of mine, Carla, actually posted about it on our dear friend Facebook. I love dirty fun challenges and I have always been interested in being involved with something like this but have never been in shape or ballsy enough. After really thinking about and looking at the track over and over again...I have decided I am going to try and do it!

There are a lot of pros and cons to this plan of mine...

Happy Things
  • There is no time involved...no time limit...no race...just good ole' dirty fun.
  • It is designed for "women of all fitness levels" (not sure that I fit into any fitness level at the moment but I hope to soon enough).
  • It would be extremely rewarding to know that I completed a 5K.
  • The obstacles are "optional"...I can skip any that I feel uncomfortable with (though I don't want to skip).
  • I would be doing this with other people who are working towards weight loss goals too, making it less likely that I will feel like I'm holding my team back.
  • Mud! Enough said :)
Scary Things
  • Can you say 5K!?!
  • It costs $65 to register...I don't have $65...I may be looking for sponsors...
  • Wall climb obstacle...I am TERRIFIED of climbing things, jumping from things, and high things...not sure about this.
  • I don't know if I've ever gone 3.2 miles at one time.
  • I only have 11 weeks to train...and I'll be on vacation for one of those.
  • I'm a wimp...and just plain nervous...
I think I've determined that the happy things outweigh the good even though the scary things seem to be at the front of my mind more often. But I really want to do this and I believe this could be the kick in the pants that I have so desperately been needing.

To prepare for this, I am going to start a program called Couch To 5K. You can get the program for free (or pay the $19.95 for the full thing but I don't have a smart phone so I don't need it) online. It basically trains you from being a couch potato to being capable of running a 5K in only 9 weeks. It is a set of 30 minute exercises, 3 days a week. Nothing outrageous...but steady and challenging...just what I need. I'm also enlisting a co-worker for some strength training tips as he just did the Tough Mudder (a 10 mile, Marine style, WAY more difficult version of Dirty Girl).

So...here goes nothing...I start C25K on Monday...wish me luck...

Monday, June 27, 2011

Weigh-In #10

Weight loss this week: 3.3 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 26.5 lbs

So I am absolutely thrilled about my weigh-in this week! I'm only 3.5lbs away from my 30lb goal and I can't wait to hit that! I wanted to get there by July 18th which leaves me with 3 more weeks. So as long as I can lose, I should hit it with no problem. And then I get to go have my hair cut!! Woot!!

I was at my parents' house this weekend and had a nice time visiting with them and my grandparents. I was worried about my food intake (even though my family is aware of my WW involvement) but it actually went really well. I packed a wrap for dinner for the drive on Friday so there was no temptation to stop for fast food. Saturday I didn't really eat breakfast (I had a banana) but I made a chicken sandwich and some carrots and hummus for lunch. We went and saw Mr. Popper's Penguins and I managed to resist the tub of popcorn that my mom got (though it smelled delicious). I did allow myself a treat and got a bag of M&M's at the grocery story beforehand. I only ate about half the bag (which turned out to be 2 servings...I got a "share it" bag I guess) but I was still proud because I previously could have eaten a giant bag without even thinking. We went to Tequilas for dinner and I ordered chicken fajitas and a light beer (everyone else got margaritas). I got corn tortillas and I didn't touch the rice or beans. I had 3 tortillas and ate the chicken and veggies with some salsa and a tiny bit of sour cream (not even a tablespoon total). The food was okay (really really oily) but I was proud of my choices. I didn't get all my GHG's in either of those days but I was actually under points.

Yesterday I did really well too...I had eggs scrambled with veggies and laughing cow cheese for breakfast. Some almonds for a snack (and another serving of M&M's) and a grilled cheese and turkey sandwich for lunch. For dinner I made the BBQ Turkey Joes again (quick and easy) with sauteed zucchini and squash and roasted red potatoes. SUPER filling dinner. I then made a "milkshake" for dessert...frozen bananas, milk, and chocolate syrup.

I am attempting to recommit myself to working out this week. But instead of saying I'll do all 5 days and then being really disappointed in myself, I am committing to at least 2 days (I'm going to try for more) and then I'll up the days as I go. I really need to get into the working out routine. Eating better is important but I need to get off my ass and move. I've been so tired lately and I know that working out will give me more energy.

Here's to another hopeful week!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Super busy week...

This week has been nuts! I feel like I don't have time to breathe, let alone run errands or spend time with Kyle or friends...

I started my new tutoring job on Monday evening. I go every night from 8pm-9pm and tutor a 5 year old in reading and writing. It is an okay gig...doesn't pay much but it's extra money and the kid really needs the help. I'm not sure his parents know just how far behind he really is...and I'm not sure how to tell them. I just hope the work I do with him this summer will at least put him on an okay track for 1st grade.

I worked out on Monday morning and swore to myself that I would do it everyday this week...and like past weeks...I failed. Tuesday and Wednesday I had some early morning "meetings" (hopefully there will be more on that later this week or early next week) that would have required me to get up at 5:30am to do Zumba. I'm sorry...but I just don't function that early. I was going to get up and do it today but I woke up with a migraine...potentially from the lawn care people mowing and weed-whacking right outside my window at 6am! I plan on at least trying to get it done tomorrow morning so I can say I did more this week than last.

I have done really well with food this week. I have eaten low amounts of overly processed food and really taken to trying to get in veggies and well balanced meals. Since discovering that I can make delicious, low-point ranch dip from yogurt and ranch mix, I have been eating a lot more raw veggies which is really good. I actually need to replenish my refrigerator but I am waiting until Sunday or Monday to do so since I'll be out of town this weekend.

I have made two pretty kick ass meals this week. It is hard to cook now considering I only have an hour from when I get home from work til I have to leave for tutoring and then I don't get home until almost 9:30pm. So I can try to make something quickly (which is hard when you are trying to stay healthy), make dinner when I get home and not eat until after 10:30pm (which is usually when I try to get in bed), or make Kyle do prep (which is okay but I like cooking). But we're making it work. Monday I make BBQ Turkey Joes...basically its ground turkey, BBQ sauce, and cayenne pepper...I put them on the huge whole wheat hamburger buns...they were so good! Kyle wanted me to make them again last night! Tuesday we just did whatever (I had leftovers, Kyle had cereal). Yesterday, thanks to Kyle doing 95% of the work, we had baked turkey chimichangas. Ground turkey, fat free refried beans, cheese, salsa, green chilies, and spices. Cook it all together, place into flour tortillas, and bake until crispy. I had mine with some reduced fat sour cream. They were delicious and super filling. I think tonight is going to have to be another "whatever" night because we have to go to the store (Kyle needs at least one pair of pants that don't have holes all over them), I have to tutor, and then we have to clean and pack.

We're heading to Carbondale tomorrow after work to visit my parents. My mom's birthday is Saturday and my grandparents are going to be in town. So we'll spend the weekend up there. My whole family knows I'm on WW so I'm hoping eating won't be a problem. I'll just make a strong effort to make healthy choices no matter what is offered. I do have almost all my weekly points still but I don't want to dip into those more than I need to, especially with the last two weeks of crappy weigh-ins.

I know I'm on the right track and I know where I need to improve. I just need to adjust my schedule and make it work for me. I need to take the time to take care of myself.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Weigh-In #9

Weight loss this week: 0 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 23.2 lbs

Not happy but not surprised either. It was a rough week and I'm just trying to be happy that I didn't gain again. Maintaining is better than gaining.

This weekend was both a disaster and an accomplishment...

Friday night was a MESS! We forgot the hot dogs that I had purchased specially to help with my points at home...meaning I had to eat something that was less point friendly. I ended up having a hamburger and a little bit of pasta salad. Dinner wasn't too bad...but then the alcohol started kicking in. I drank 25 points (approximately...I didn't measure because...well...I have no excuse) worth of vodka and being that I don't drink much anymore, I was fairly intoxicated. Being drunk, my control over eating fluttered away for awhile. I had Sun Chips (not the worst chip for you but still, a chip) but I obviously didn't measure. Then I had a hot dog (one of Kyle's Nathans Hot Dogs...which are 8 points including the bun) at like midnight. Bad news bears. I tried my best to calculate and track my points on Saturday morning...and from what I guess-timated...I consumed approximately 58 points Friday night. Thankfully I had enough weekly points to cover it.

Saturday was okay...I was not feeling my best thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol that was ingested the night before. I had an interview for a part time tutoring position at 1pm...and I got it! So now, on top of working at ID Watchdog, I will be tutoring a 1st grade for an hour a night, 5 days a week, in reading and writing. I'm excited to get to do something that is somewhat related to my degree but it is going to be an adjustment adding an hour of work at the end of my already long days. But it is extra money and good experience so I'm sure the adjustment will be worth it. Eating on Saturday was okay...remained relatively healthy but I actually left 13 points at the end of the day because I just wasn't hungry and couldn't think of anything else to eat.

Sunday actually went significantly better than I had anticipated. I woke up early for Pride and I made myself an egg white scramble with spinach, tomatoes, onion, mushrooms, and a garlic-herb Laughing Cow cheese. I threw in some olive oil so I could check off my oil and not worry about it for the rest of the day. I was glad that I ate a good sized breakfast so I was okay until lunch time. We went to the Blue Bonnet as planned and I had an easier time making a good food choice than I thought I would. While I edited the crap out of my meal (to our waiter's dismay), I was able to eat relatively healthily. I had two plain grilled chicken tacos (no cheese, sour cream, or guacamole...it was supposed to come with grilled peppers and onions but because I took so much off, I think the cooks just assumed I wanted it plain)...I asked for corn tortillas instead of flour...and I got black beans instead of refried. When I got the meal, it had 4 tortillas but I only ate 2. I put salsa, lettuce, and a little bit of black beans and enjoyed. I didn't touch the chips or the rice and I only ate about 1/3 of the beans. I was super proud of myself. When I got home, the healthy eating continued. I had some almonds and some chips and salsa for snacks. For dinner I made a turkey wrap with some center cut bacon, light ranch, and cheese and some roasted zucchini and squash. I had a WW ice cream bar as desert and a glass of chocolate milk before bed. Overall, I did well and I am happy about that.

While I haven't been satisfied with my weigh-in results the last two weeks, it has upped my resolve a bit. I got up this morning and did my Zumba game after I weighed myself. I am going to make sure that I continue to get some regular exercise and work the plan the way I'm supposed to. I know that if I keep at it, the weight will continue to fall off...I just hope I can hit my 30lb goal before July 20th!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Emotional Eating

The dreaded emotional eater in me has come out to play this week...

I've been working really hard to keep her suppressed and move forward without allowing her to rear her ugly head but unfortunately...she got the best of me this week.

Tuesday night...I had Taco Bell. It had been a really really bad evening and by the time I even thought about dinner it was 10pm. I had plenty of points and even after gorging on two burritos, I still had 3 points left over. But I didn't get my GHG's in for the day (I was missing dairy and oils...the most difficult for me to get in) and when I was finished I felt like hell. My stomach hurt, my head hurt, and I was generally unhappy. The emotional eating didn't do its job...

Wednesday was another rough day...and while my work day was okay in terms of food choices, it went down the drain at night. It was Kyle's birthday and we went to his parents' for dinner. And what did they make...fettuccine alfredo with french bread. There wasn't even a salad I could fill up on. And of course, because I was down and wanted nothing more than to numb myself with food, I ate a large serving of pasta and a huge piece of bread. Not good.

Yesterday was better...but I still wasn't as on track as I would have liked to have been. The day was good...I made my own ranch with low-fat plain yogurt and ranch mix (only 2pts for about 3 Tbsp) and I ate very little processed food. But it was payday and I had a TON of errands to run after work because I won't have time this weekend. So, by the time we were done with all the shopping and what not, it was 9pm. So we grabbed Subway...a decent choice for eating out but still not as healthy as cooking for myself would have been.

I fear for tonight. Its Kyle's birthday party and we are going to be drinking. I have found some solutions to try and keep my point intake under control but I fear that my control will dissipate as I consume more liquor. I am mixing vodka with Crystal Light because then I only have to count points for the actual alcohol and not the mixer. We are grilling and I purchased some 97% fat free Beef hot dogs and whole wheat buns which will make the whole hot dog (bun, dog, and condiments) only about 3-4 points each...so that isn't too bad. I have saved almost all my weekly points for tonight so I know I am fairly safe. But points or not, it will not be a healthy evening.

Sunday is Pride...and while I am excited...its going to be a challenge (as I mentioned before). I have scoured the Blue Bonnet's menu online and I am going to have to be one of the annoying people who orders a specialized dish in order to consume something even remotely point friends. Shannon already promised she would keep me away from the chips and I am going to make sure I eat a good breakfast in the hopes I won't be totally famished by lunch. I just hope I manage to save some points after tonight to cover me on Sunday.

Lets just say that even though I've stayed within my points this week (so far) it has not been my proudest few days. I am really nervous to step on the scale on Monday. But I know I just have to brush this week off and move forward with my life. I just hope the damage isn't too extensive...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Zumba

So, I got myself out of bed this morning about 45 minutes early (which was extremely difficult) so I could try out the Zumba game for my Wii. I have friends who have taken Zumba classes and people post about it all over WW boards...so I figured I'd give it a try. I love to dance and I need to be more active...it was worth a shot...

Let me tell you...it kicked my ass!

I did the 20 minuted beginners "class"...and after about 8 minutes I thought I was going to die. I was sweating like crazy and it was exhausting. Mind you, I'm sure my lack of activity made it much harder than it would be for relatively "fit" people...but phew...it was intense. I stuck it out through the full 20 minutes and I was pretty proud of myself.

I am definitely going to make this into a routine. I am considering doing cardio in the gym M,W,F; Zumba in the mornings T, Th; weight training in the gym T, Th; and then evening walks  M,W,F...I haven't laid everything out for sure yet but this is what I want to get to eventually...

Things are looking up...maybe the gain I had is what I needed to kick my butt into gear (too bad I'm sore as hell lol).

Monday, June 13, 2011

Weigh-In #8

Weight loss this week: +.4 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 23.2 lbs

Okay...so I am totally and completely bummed. I gained this week for the first time since starting the program and I am really disappointed. I know its only half a pound and I shouldn't let it get me down...but man...this sucks. I've been trying to prepare myself for weeks of maintenance and gains because that is part of losing weight (WW talks about this all the time)...and I thought I would be okay when that happened. And while I haven't broken down or completely lost faith, I am extremely disappointed in myself.

I've been told that I just need to pick myself back up, analyze what I can improve upon, and move forward. But honestly...I didn't feel like last week was terrible. In fact, I thought I did pretty well. I managed to turn down an ice cream sandwich, pizza, and a chocolate cookie at work last week. I worked hard to get all my GHG's in and make healthy snack choices. I measured and tracked everything.

Although, I suppose I should admit that there are a few things that I need to improve on. My activity is probably the biggest. I have been downright lazy. Not working out in the morning. Not working out at night. And maybe my body finally decided that watching what I eat isn't enough anymore. I'm hoping I can turn my disappointment into motivation to get active. I also was a wreck this weekend. I ate...and ate...and ate some more. I tracked everything and I stayed within my points (but I used more weekly points than I had the whole program with the exception of Easter weekend)...but I had more sodium (pita chips, tortilla chips, and peanuts) and less veggies (I desperately need to go grocery shopping but I'm poor until Thursday) and water than I know I should. Still...I didn't think I was totally out of control. Ugh...

I'm just going to try and straighten up and get motivated this week. I am facing a few challenges though. Wednesday is Kyle's birthday but we aren't celebrating until Friday. Friday evening we are having a BBQ at his parents' house. I'm not super concerned about the food (I will be bringing my own point-friendly food) but there will be alcohol and I do intend on drinking (its his birthday and I want to celebrate with him and his friends). I plan on trying to just do vodka with point-friendly mixers (I think I might make some Crystal Light or something since its free)...but alcohol adds up really fast. So if I manage to survive that, Sunday is Denver Pride! I go every year and its always fun...and every year our whole group goes out for Mexican food at the Blue Bonnet. Think free chips and salsa, margaritas, and very unhealthy food. I've pretty much avoided eating out since starting the program (partially because I'm poor and partially because it requires a lot of thought and consideration) and Mexican is not really where I wanted to start out. Its going to require a LOT of pre-planning and even more self control. I just worry I'm going to wind up with another gain next week. I had expected and even "planned" on having a rough weigh-in next week because of my weekend plans...but that was before my gain this week. I guess I'll just have to do the best I can.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Ice Cream Sandwich

So today, my boss got back from lunch and had "gifts" for my co-worker and I. He got us these huge chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches...which, incidentally, are one of my favorite novelties.

I have one co-worker (Swill) who has been extremely supportive of my weight-loss journey...he is on one himself so we tend to talk about it and support each other. When my boss handed me the treat, I sat there and stared at it for a second. Swill looked at me and said he told him not to do it. But he had anyway. So there I stood, with a melting ice cream in my hand. They said I could give it away (with much razzing from my boss), so I did. I walked up to Jen and begged her to take it and do something with it. She took it quickly (and thankfully) and I walked back to my desk having consumed zero ice cream.

So why am I upset?! Shouldn't I be proud of my decision to walk away from an unplanned and unnecessary treat?

I know I made the right decision and I am proud that I took control and gave it away. I know those are the choices I need to make in order to continue to be successful. But right now, I am just bummed. I miss being able to just enjoy food and not think about it constantly (and my excess enjoyment is why I am here in the first place). I mean, I do still enjoy food and I do allow myself treats sometimes. But some days (like today) I feel like its a battle and I am not in the mood to fight.

I know I am just in a bit of a funk today and my mood is twisting my good decision into negativity. I just need to get out of this mood I'm stuck in.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Weigh-In #7

Weight loss this week: 6.8 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 23.6 lbs

Okay...so part of me wants to be really really excited about the amount I lost this week. Almost 7lbs is HUGE. But a bigger part of me is scared. According to WW, a healthy rate of loss is between .5-2lbs per week. Obviously that fluctuates some weeks but this is a big fluctuation. I even weighed myself twice to make sure that my Wii didn't make a mistake.

There are a couple of reasons this could have happened. I have been sick for the last week or so. While I was feeling a bit better last week starting Tuesday, I still wasn't completely myself. I ate my points almost every day but I didn't eat as many weeklies as I usually do. Also, I may have been a little dehydrated...I didn't drink nearly as much water as I usually do this weekend so that could have played a role as well. But these things seem unlikely to cause me to have such a huge drop. I didn't exercise last week or really do anything differently...so why such a significant loss?

I have been having some stomach issues...nothing outrageous...just aches and some other small things. So, being the paranoid person that I am, I'm thinking there might be something wrong with me. Stomach issues kind of run in my family; my uncle had Crohn's Disease (which is terrible and can cause you to lose a lot of weight quickly). There are also issues with Diabetes and thyroid problems. I dunno...I'm probably stressing myself out of nothing. But if my loss next week is this big again, I will be going to the doctor to get tested...particularly for Crohn's.

Ugh...I wish my weight loss wasn't plagued with such worrisome thoughts...

Friday, June 3, 2011

Yummy New Cooking Adventures

So, since starting WW, I have made a strong effort to cook as often as possible. I've always loved to cook but for some reason, I rarely did it. Now when I say cook, I mean really cook...not heat something frozen, throw together a boxed meal (like mac&cheese or hamburger helper), or heat up soup. When I started, I purchased myself a nice set of pots and pans (my old ones were in need of replacement anyway) and I swore to myself that I would use them! So I thought, as a bit of a change up, I would post some of the wonderful new meals I've made and/or plan on making in the near future.

Pan-seared chicken in garlic sauce
**This was so amazing! You sear the chicken (that has been seasoned with lots of yummy spices) in a hot skillet, then add in whole garlic cloves and chicken broth. Finish it in the oven, take out the chicken, and crush the garlic until you can mix it all up into a sauce. I served it with roasted red potatoes and steamed broccoli. Probably my favorite dish I've made so far!**

Spice-rubbed pork chops
**I buy boneless pork chops at Sam's Club in a large pack but I've always had a hard time figuring out what to do with them (I didn't enjoy pork for a long time so it is pretty new to my kitchen). The rub is made up of brown sugar, cumin, chili powder, salt, pepper, and Worcestershire sauce. You just rub the chops well and bake them until done. I served this with sauteed zucchini and yellow squash and loaded mashed potatoes (instant...ya, I know that's not really cooking but they tasted delightful).**

Chicken with mushrooms and rice
**I made this last night and while it was good, my mushrooms weren't the freshest (thinking back I probably should have just tossed them but at least I didn't get sick) so that did effect the flavor a little bit. Anyway, you brown the chicken in the skillet until cooked. Remove it and saute celery, leeks, and mushrooms (the recipe called for carrots but that sounded gross to me)...when they are almost done, add a chopped tomato and some white wine. Let the wine cook down and then add the chicken, instant wild rice (I just used Rice-a-roni), and chicken stock. Simmer for 25 minutes...and you have a delicious meal!**

Chicken sausage with spaghetti squash
**So this is my dinner plan for tonight and I'm really excited about it because I came up with it on my own instead of using a recipe. I went to Sunflower Market for the first time this week and fell in love! Cheap, fresh produce and awesome sales! Anyway, they had chicken sausage on sale and, while I have never had it, it sounds pretty good. They had a bunch of varieties...I picked one that has spinach and feta cheese in it! Yum! So my plan is to cook the sausage and slice it thinly. Then I'm going to saute it real quickly with spaghetti squash (already cooked of course), tomatoes, garbanzo beans, and possibly some more feta (depending on how strong the flavor is in the chicken). I'm really excited to try it!**

If anyone else has awesome recipes to share, please feel free! I'm always up to try new ones (I have a whole binder of recipes that I am waiting to try) and I'll post any successes I have! Happy Friday all!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Negative Nancy (not weight related)

I am feeling like a Negative Nancy today...and I don't like it.

I feel like I'm in a rut...I'm stuck in place and I am frustrated with trying to move to no avail.

I'm working at a job with no challenges or stimulating activity. I am at the bottom of the totem pole (even after a year and a half here) and there are some co-workers that seem to put forth their greatest effort to continue to make me feel that way. I am over-educated and under-paid.

I want to teach.

I have applied to every single job posting DPS has put up since February. I have applied to every single job posting Douglas county has put up since March. I have applied to every single private school posting on Craigslist.

I have not applied to Jeffco or Adams county because, from what I understand, there are going to be lay-offs and school closings...meaning no outside hiring. I need to apply to more charter schools...now that I think about it, that is going to be a goal for the next week.

You would think that having a master's degree might give me a little boost in the eyes of employers. Maybe? I haven't gotten a single call for an interview. I have gotten multiple rejection emails from Douglas County.

"While your qualifications are impressive, we have chosen interview candidates whose qualifications meet our school's needs more specifically."

My ass.

I know its still early...its only the first week of June...hell, some districts aren't even out of school yet. But I just feel so discouraged. I want to move forward with my life...with my career. I want to come home exhausted because I had a busy and challenging day...not because I stared at a computer screen for 8 hours and had zero mental stimulation during that time. I want to make a salary that I deserve. I want change.

I'm 24 and feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis. I'm too young for this...

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Weight-In #6

Week 6 weight loss: 1.1 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 16.8 lbs

I did weigh myself on Monday but I was not in the mood to sit down and blog about it...so its getting posted a day late.

I am not exactly satisfied with my weigh-in results but I am also no surprised. I didn't exercise at all last week (outside of a lazy, 15min walk with Kyle one evening) and my eating the last 3 days was sporadic and not really on track.

I woke up on Friday morning feeling okay and looking forward to the long weekend. I had some awesome plans and I was really excited to get the opportunity to relax a bit. Well, on the way to work my throat started to hurt...nothing excruciating but a nuisance none the less. But as the day went on, things progressively got worse. I started to feel achy, feverish, and swallowing became difficult...lovely...sickness was just what I wanted. Things just got worse so I went to the doctor on Saturday morning. Turned out I had strep throat.

Fabulous. Yay for my 3-day weekend getting thrown in the trash.

So I laid around and felt miserable all weekend. I ate when I could but mostly just consumed my weight in water and Gatorade. I stayed within my points all weekend (even though I had KFC for dinner on Saturday) but I didn't come close to meeting my GHG's all weekend (except for my liquid).

Thanks to antibiotics, I am slowly starting to feel better. Mornings are worse but I'm getting there. I'm back on track today in terms of WW and I'm hoping I can get some exercise in this week. I have a photo shoot tonight but I plan on trying to hit the gym in the evenings in hopes that it will turn out better than my attempts at mornings. Hopefully I'll be back to 100% tomorrow so I can get back on track and knock off the last 14lbs...

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Delicious Disaster

Yep, that's right...last night was a delicious disaster!

I originally planned to make ground turkey tacos for dinner last night...but Kyle's parents invited us over for dinner. Obviously we said yes...I mean, how could I say no to free food, fun people, and no cooking on my part?

Well, I had about 20pts left for the day...which is usually more than enough for dinner. I was prepared to eat whatever they were preparing, even if I had to skip bread or something. I was prepared, that is, until they announced that his mom was making fettuccini alfredo.

Oh my gosh...I swear my heart skipped a beat. Maryann's fettuccini is to DIE for. Seriously. It is all the bad things that taste oh so wonderful. She makes the sauce from scratch using butter, heavy whipping cream, Parmesan cheese, and garlic. Then she tosses it with fresh pasta and crumbled up pieces of crisp bacon. Heaven.

So there I am, scrambling to decide whether or not I should skip the alfredo and just eat some salad (like that was really ever an option). Obviously, I had alfredo...and I did not skimp on the portion. Every single rich, creamy bite was worth every single calorie entering into my body.

I was then left to try and decide if I was going to track it and see the damage...or just pretend it didn't happen and hang my head in a pasta-driven shame.

I tracked it...and while I probably was way off on my portions (I said I ate 2 cups worth...but honestly I have no clue if that is right) and 1 1/2 slices of bacon (it was crumbled but I guess-timated). WW had fettuccini alfredo listed at 9pts per cup...I have no idea how the one on the site is prepared but I went with it because there was no way I was going to try and break apart the ingredients. I ended up eating something like 20pts just for the pasta. Totally and completely worth it.

I figure one night isn't going to kill me and as long as I don't let it get me off track on other days I'll be just fine.

I'm really happy that I actually let myself enjoy the meal rather than stress over it the whole time. And I learned that, no matter the diet or lifestyle change, I will always have a weakness for good pasta.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Apathy?

I feel apathetic?

I place a question mark afterwards because I am not sure if that is the correct term. In fact, I know its not. So why I chose it in the first place, I don't really know. Except that is how I feel in the mornings.

I set my alarm for 6:30am every morning with the intention of waking up and hauling my lazy ass to the gym. And every morning for the past 3 weeks, I have just rolled over and reset my alarm for 7:30am. Disgusting.

I think today was probably the worst day. I woke up at 6:30am and was as close to wide-awake as I feel I could be for that early. You would think that I would have gotten up...gotten dressed...and busted my butt at the gym for awhile. Did I do that? Of course not. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

I am super disappointed in myself. I have no excuse. I have no reason. I just didn't do it.

Something has to change.

I have been feeling extremely apathetic, somewhat depressed, and quite anti-social lately. Not entirely sure what it is. It may be the weather...maybe its the fact that I am completely dissatisfied with my current employment situation...maybe its my frustration with my inability to find a teaching job (and the multiple rejection emails I receive weekly)...maybe its stress. I don't know. But something has to change.

I have hit a wall that I am determined to break down, one way or another.

Please, let me have the strength to break it down...

Monday, May 23, 2011

Weigh-In #5

Weight loss this week: 2.2lbs
Total weight loss so far: 15.3lbs

So I'm really happy that my weight continues to go down and I seem to be doing pretty well in the program. I don't feel like I'm depriving myself and, while I do sometimes miss being able to eat without measuring everything that goes into my mouth, I am still enjoying WW.

I did do a bit of comfort eating and snacking this weekend. I stayed within my points (dipping into my weeklies...but I am trying to eat those anyway per advice from other WW members) but some of my choices could have been better. Friday night was a bit emotional for a number of reasons and when things finally calmed down, all I wanted was "bad" food. So I ate Chef Boyardee Ravioli and an WW ice cream bar. Not the best dinner but I suppose it happens.

Saturday was wonderful! I went for a walk at Wash Park with Nicole and little Channing...it was so much fun and it was great to catch up with her and play with Channing (he is getting so big!). I also got in like 20 minutes of activity which was good. Kyle and I then went out to lunch. We went to Pho-natic...I couldn't kick my Vietnamese craving and after much thought, I realized that it really isn't bad for me (its basically grilled chicken, rice noodles, veggies, and fish sauce). The gigantic bowl you get was only 14 points and I ate it for two meals. We then ran some errands and in the middle of that, got some Starbucks (another craving I haven't been able to kick)...I got a Light Mocha Frap...so delicious and I couldn't taste the difference at all. Best treat I've had so far!

Yesterday was a "snacky" kind of day...we just kinda hung around the house and relaxed. I made these Grands! Ham and Cheese melts...they were really good, really heavy, and not really good for me. I also baked these chocolate coconut cookies that I found on WW. They were supposed to be vegan but it called for coconut oil which is REALLY expensive, so I substituted butter instead. They are pretty good but they aren't really cookie like. They have more of a cake texture and they didn't flatten out...but rather stayed in awkward little lumps. They are really small but are only 1 point a piece so they'll come in handy when I need a little chocolate fix.

Overall though, I'm pretty satisfied with my progress. Still spending an obscene amount of money on groceries and I still have a running grocery list at all times. But I'm happy with my progress and I'm hoping I'll get to my 30lbs mark by July 15...only 15 more pounds to go! :)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

M&M's

I gave into today...

I purchased some M&M's from the vending machine at work...

6 points for the whole bag...I'm currently working through half now and plan on eating the other half after dinner...

And they are TOTALLY worth it!

I have been craving chocolate for about a week now and after consulting with some people on the WW message boards, I realized that it is okay to have treats every now and then. That is why I liked WW in the first place...it is livable, there is freedom, and you can lose weight without cutting things you love out of your life completely.

I'll be honest...I do still feel a little guilty about giving in...but I have the points available for it...I know it won't derail me as long as I don't do it all the time...and let me tell you...they taste soooo good.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Cravings...and cupcakes...

So yesterday one of my co-workers brought in cupcakes for the owner's birthday that his fiance made. She owns a cake business and her cake and cupcakes are wonderful. Anyway...these cupcakes aren't ordinary cupcakes...one was a white chocolate raspberry cupcake with a Chambord soak...the other was a tiramisu cupcake with chocolate cover espresso bean. Yum, right? Well...I resisted. I was taunted all day by co-workers talking about how wonderful they are (one even telling me that I was stupid for not having one and intentionally eating it in front of me to be spiteful) and I was taunted by the cupcakes themselves as I walked past them multiple times. But I managed to resist and I did not have one. I was quite proud of myself. It wasn't so much that I couldn't "afford" the points of the cupcake...it was more to prove to myself that I have enough will-power to walk away from food that I don't NEED.

But today...I have some serious cravings that I am struggling to suppress. First...I want this amazing Vietnamese chicken noodle bowl at this place called Pho-natic. I had never had Vietnamese before a few months back when the company I work for all went out to lunch there for a birthday celebration. Let me tell you...its amazing! Cool, soft rice noodles, perfectly grilled and seasoned chicken, fresh veggies, and this amazing fish sauce (I don't know what it is exactly...nor do I understand why I like it cause I don't enjoy fish...but it is sweet and delicious)...all mixed up to make a wonderful, light, yummy lunch.

I also really want Starbucks. I want a gigantic mocha frap...or an iced caramel latte...mmmmm. I haven't had Starbucks in forever and there are "skinny" options that are fewer points but I still shouldn't indulge like that.

Honestly...the only real thing that is keeping me from indulging on both these things is money. But that excuse is starting to wane...I'm finding ways around it and that is BAD! But we are going to be downtown all evening because we have free tickets to the Comedy Works...and we won't be able to go home for dinner because the show starts at 8pm...and Pho-natic is only a block away from where I work...and there is a Starbucks just as close. Ahh...first time since on WW that I am really craving food but let me tell you...its killer.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Weigh-In #4

Weight-loss for week 4: 2.6 lbs
Total weight-loss: 13.5 lbs

So I am pretty happy with last weeks results...way better than week 3! My weight is steadily decreasing and while I sometimes wish more would come off, I know I should be proud of what I've accomplished so far.

I did really well with my food last week and I found a lot of support on the WW message boards. The people on there offer great advice and have helped me with a lot of questions that I just couldn't find the answers to. I managed to get in my healthy oils the last few days which is great and I've been rocking the healthy choices.

I have been spending a LOT of money on groceries though...its been really difficult. It has definitely but some serious dents in my bank account (I'm spending at least $100 a week...I dropped almost $200 this weekend). I know part of it is I am still adjusting to the diet, figuring out what staples I need to have in my house, and stocking up on good foods (so I am prepared if there is a week or two when I can't afford groceries). But fruits and veggies are really expensive too...especially because you have to replenish constantly in order to keep fresh food around. While I am okay with spending the money because I want to do this right...I fear I may hit a point where I can't afford it anymore.

I was pretty proud of myself yesterday...I rocked it in the food category. Weekends tend to be especially difficult for me because if I am home watching movies or TV with Kyle, my snacking habits kick in. I also tend to have a hard time reaching my fruits and veggies. Well, yesterday was no problem. I had a whole wheat English muffin with peanut butter and a cup of coffee for breakfast. An awesome salad with roast beef, feta, tons of veggies, and balsamic vinaigrette. Snacks included fruit, hummus with pita and carrots, and some WW ice cream bars. For dinner I made turkey burgers (first attempt at burgers...ever...did pretty well) and home-made chili fries (with chili powder and cumin). I messed up the fries a bit because I poured the excess coating over them before baking and it caused them to stick to the pan really bad...but they still tasted good. I was really proud of my day!

Exercise is still difficult for me. I have been so so tired this last week. I'm not sure if it has to do with my body getting used to my new medication or if its the weather or what. But hopefully I'll get into gear this week.

Overall, I'm pretty satisfied with my progress. I'm getting into the swing of my diet more and realizing that this is not a diet of a lifestyle change. I learned that I am making a permanent change for the better in my life. And I am so unbelievably happy that I have some AMAZING people in my life supporting me!

PS...if you left comments on my previous posts...thank you...I did not delete them. For some reason, blogspot.com decided the erase almost all my comments...which really bums be out because I looked back on them for encouragement. But your support is very appreciated! :)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Daily Point Distribution and New Goals...

With my current number of points (45) per day, I need to be distributing as such (or as close as possible):

Breakfast: 7 points
Lunch: 12 points
Dinner: 16 points
Snacks: 5 points each (twice a day)

I am going to start posting how my points distribute out in hopes that I will learn to balance more.
Today my points are set out (thus far) as follows:

Breakfast: 6 points
Lunch: 16 points
Dinner: ? Its Grey's Anatomy tonight so my dinners tend to not be as planned on Thursdays.
Snacks: 3 points (as planned...I haven't eaten them yet, and I also have the option to add another 3 points if I am hungry and fruit isn't satisfying me).

I'm doing better today than I have been because my lunch is pretty high on points.

I also have a few short term goals that I want to hit.

First, my goal is to start choosing "healthier" snacks that are higher in fiber and protein and not just senseless carbs. I plan on purchasing some hummus and pita bread, peanuts, celery and peanut butter, and avocado to help boost my snacks.

Second, I want to lose 30 pounds (total...so 20 more to go) by July 15th.

Third, I want to buy a new pair of jeans by July that are at least one size smaller than my current ones. I ripped one of my two pairs of jeans that I own last night but I am going to try and repair them because I refuse to purchase more clothing at my size. Hopefully I will hit my goal by July so I can buy something new before my trip.

And last but not least, I want to go to the gym 5 mornings a week. I know I said that previously but I think I just need to reiterate it for myself because I have obviously been struggling with that. I'm also hoping for warm weather this weekend so Kyle and I can go for a walk at the park!

So that's my update for the day...these are my new goals. Fingers crossed I keep my determination and motivation!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A little frustrated...

So, here I am...halfway through my fourth week...and I'm a bit unhappy with my progress.

I mean, I have definitely made some changes in terms of my eating...and I am happy about those. But I still feel like I'm doing something wrong. I follow my points...I track like a madman...and I try really hard to eat healthy things. But I still love to snack and I fear I am overeating. I am just really struggling with making healthy food choices but eating all of my points. I choose low-point items for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (most of the time) and I try to snack on fruits and veggies when I'm hungry. But then I realize I am left with tons of points. So I have tried to incorporate more snacks that have points like crackers, chex mix, veggie straws, etc. but then I fear that I am eating all the wrong things because these are not whole grain or low fat.

I also am having a hard time meeting some of my "Good Health Guidelines"...these are check marks you are supposed to hit daily (5 servings of veggies, 6 glasses of water, 2 servings of dairy, 2 servings of healthy oils, multivitamin, and 30 min of exercise). I hit the veggies, the water, and the vitamin nearly every day. But apparently a yogurt cup isn't a full serving of dairy...and neither is string cheese (which are my two dairy staples for the day). I have been trying to not add cheese because it is a lot of points and I don't generally like to drink a lot of milk. But I need to get my servings. Healthy oil is another hard one for me...they recommend putting in on veggies or salads or cooking with it...but it seems to be a difficult goal for me to reach. And exercise...geez...I just can't get in the swing of it. I didn't go Monday because my stomach was really bothering me. I went yesterday before my doctor appointment but I only lasted 15 minutes because my stomach hurt and I couldn't seem to catch my breath. I did 15 minutes on the Wii Fit yesterday as well but I really don't feel like I worked hard enough. I didn't go to the gym today because I woke up not feeling well (my throat aches and my stomach is still bugging me a bit) and it was rainy and dark out so my motivation to crawl out of bed an hour early was non-existent.

And top it all off with the fact that I had to go on a new kind of medication because what I was on is unhealthy because of my high BP...and apparently this has a lot of side-effects that I was not made aware of...one of which is heavy weight gain. Just what I need right now...

I'm just feeling really down on myself. I know I need to be positive. I know I need to keep pushing. And I know that things will get better. But right now...all I want to do is crawl under the covers and hide.

I am sick of feeling like a grump...

Monday, May 9, 2011

Weigh-In #3

Weight Loss for Week 3: .9lbs
Total Weight Loss: 10.9lbs

So...I am a bit disappointed with my weigh-in results this week...actually...I would say I'm a lot more than "a bit" disappointed. Losing less than a pound in one week sucks. I know I should be happy that the scale went down...but still, I was hoping for something more than that.

As a whole, I had a decent week. I did snack more than I had been in the previous weeks (I bought some Chex Mix...which is one of my favorite snacks and one that I can eat in large quantities if I allow myself) but I always remained within my points. I did not exercise much though and I think that may be part of it. I went to the gym twice last week but I didn't use the Wii Fit at all.

This weekend was also had a rough time. I went out on Friday...and I had a few drinks. Now, I did not have nearly as many as I had "planned" for...I only had 2 light beers and 2 shots. I had all my bonus points for the week so I was okay there. But...on my way home at 1am...being just a wee bit intoxicated...I was hungry and desperately wanted Taco Bell. Kyle wanted it to...so I went against my better judgement and went. I ate a 5-Layer burrito and then called it a night (I had purchased a bean burrito also but I ended up eating it for dinner on Sunday). So I ate fast food...which I have been trying really hard to avoid. I still stayed within my bonus points and I didn't have to cash in any activity points. But I am a little disappointed in myself.

I just need to work really hard this week to stay on track and work out consistently. Weight Watchers Online has a lot of message boards and challenges and stuff that you can participate it. I was looking at them this weekend and there is a challenge I am debating on trying. Its called 100 days of exercise...and the goal is to work out for at least 30minutes for 100 days...no skipping. I think I'm going to give it a try but I am going to look at more challenges too. I just need to step up my game if I want the weight to come off faster.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Its been a few days...

There hasn't been a lot of excitement this week...so I took a few days away from the blog to try to avoid feeling too repetitive. Although, it will probably sound pretty repetitive.

This week I have done pretty well. I skipped the gym on Wednesday morning because I slept through my alarm...Whoops! But I went again on Thursday...and once again, the little old man kicked my butt! He did about 15 minutes on the bike and then went and programmed in 50 minutes on the treadmill! I left before he completed (I was only there for 30 minutes) but I was impressed...and jealous. But I know the gym will start becoming easier for me as time goes on.

I ate pretty well all week...had some improvisational dinners but they were okay. I discovered my new favorite snack...cucumbers, tomatoes, and mushrooms cut up into bite size pieces and drizzled with a bit of light balsamic vinaigrette...mmmmm...so good! Tonight I am making spaghetti squash for the first time and am pretty excited...the recipe I found is a garlic-kielbasa spaghetti squash. It sounds delicious and I'm excited to try something completely new!

I'm going out dancing tomorrow night...which I'm super excited for...but I am also a bit nervous...it will be my first "experience" with alcohol since I started my diet. I know its okay to have fun and splurge every once in awhile...but I also need to try to keep track and that's where I know I will struggle. I know what kind of drinks I should have...and I know what kind of drinks I will WANT to have. I should have light beer...or gin and tonics...or rum and diet soda. What I want to have is long island ice teas, tequila sunrises, and cape cods. Plus...if we do shots (I don't know if we will or not)...how in the heck do I calculate points for the "girly" ones, especially when I generally don't even know whats in them?! I am probably over-reacting about the whole situation. I have saved all my bonus points for Saturday and I also have some activity points I can cash in...so I'm sure I'll be fine. Unless I'm confronted with drunken munchies...

I'll definitely update you on the weekend...wish me luck!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I got shown up by a little old man...

I finally got my butt to the gym this morning...first time I've been in one since college (which is quite embarrassing to admit). As I was walking in, a little old man with a cane followed behind me. We exchanged pleasantries and then went to our individual work-outs. I hoped on a cross-trainer elliptical...he got on a stationary bike. I was there...huffing and puffing my way through 20 minutes...while he busted out 15 minutes on the bike and moved himself to an elliptical machine. I had to leave after only 20 minutes because I got a later start than originally planned (turns out my body does NOT enjoy functioning an hour earlier than normal)...and this little old man was still truckin' through. My new goal...beat this old man!

I was really excited that I made it to the gym today. And yesterday I did pretty well. We made sesame chicken for dinner from a WW recipe...it was not very good...it was way too "gingery" and it called for maple syrup which made it too sweet. I would use it again but I want to find a way to make it more spicy...less sweet...and way less ginger. I did do a little snacking when we got home cause dinner was taking forever...but I still did okay.

I am trying not the get discouraged that I am not seeing the results of my work...I mean...I know its way too early to see results but I want to so badly. 10 lbs down and I still feel just as fat as I did two weeks ago. I know it takes time...and I'm trying really hard to be patient.

I'm really happy I got to the gym...and I plan on keeping it up.
I learned that it is never too early...or too late...to get and stay in shape!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Weigh-In #2

Weight loss last week: 2.7 lbs.
Total weight loss so far: 10 lbs.

Overall, I'm pretty happy with my weigh-in results. Its a lot lower than last week but I expected that because I assumed most of last week was water weight. I am glad I lost again and 10lbs in two weeks its really exciting for me. I just hope I can keep it up!

The last few days have been rough...I was still feeling really ill until Sunday morning. So I didn't eat much on Friday or Saturday. Dani and Jess came over for dinner on Friday and I was going to make sesame chicken but because my stomach was so out of whack we just ordered pizza. I didn't want to make a meal that I had been excited to try out and then not be able to eat it. I ate two small slices of chicken pesto pizza which I figured was a better alternative to pepperoni. Saturday all I ate was a small bowl of cereal, some Baked Lays, and a few other small things here and there...definitely didn't hit my points quota. I ate all my points yesterday which was good cause my stomach was feeling better. I did not eat as many fruits and veggies as I have been trying to...I think weekends are going to be a serious challenge for me in that department.

Exercising was also placed on the back-burner last week because of my stomach issues. I didn't work out at all this weekend either. But now that I am feeling better, I am confident that I will get back on track this week. I finally got my new Ipod loaded with my music and tonight I plan on developing some awesome work-out playlists. I also got a Zumba exercise game for the Wii that I'm really excited to try. I think this is going to be a good week.

I am happy that I managed to lose again this week, even with all of my setbacks.
I learned that weekends are going to be a challenge but I am up for it...

Friday, April 29, 2011

Sick...

So yesterday was interesting...I was within my points...and made decent food choices...but I was also sick...

For breakfast yesterday I had a banana and a granola bar. I was feeling kind of funny during the late morning and my stomach was aching but by the time lunch rolled around I figured I was just in need of food (usually I have some fruit or veggies between breakfast and lunch but I did not yesterday). For lunch I had some left over "stir-fry" and a string cheese. My stomach was starting to really feel funny at that point and I was all shaky and almost dizzy. I thought maybe I had let my blood sugar get too low so I ate a yogurt as well. I was still feeling pretty icky when I got back to my desk and, sure enough, about thirty minutes later I was getting sick in the bathroom. That occurred 2 more times in the next 45 minutes so at that point I went home.

When I got home, I lasted for about 2 hours and then was sick again. I didn't get sick for a few more hours and my stomach was grumbly so Kyle and I went and picked up some Subway for a late dinner. I ate my whole sandwich but afterwards I wasn't feeling so hot. I didn't get sick again but I did go straight to bed.

So yesterday was a bit of a toss up...technically I consumed most of my points...but I also lost them later...so we'll see.

Today I still feel a bit ill and my stomach is doing a lot of not-happy somersaults...which has, thus far, limited my food consumption. Fingers crossed, I'll make it through the day without getting sick again.

I am happy that I have managed to stay on track this week and am even happier that I am going to be attempting a new WW recipe tonight of sesame chicken.

I learned that if I am ever nauseous or sick to my stomach...most people jump to pregnancy!! Grr...

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Another pretty good day...

Yesterday I did really well outside of some minor chocolate intake at the end of my day.

I made a really delicious stir-fry-esk meal for dinner. I marinated chicken in teriyaki sauce and then baked it and steamed brown rice and some veggies in my new steamer (which is AWESOME). Then I threw some low sodium soy sauce on it, mixed it all together, and enjoyed. It was quite tasty and I got a ton of food for relatively low points.

I did have a lot of points after dinner though so I had a glass of milk to try and up my dairy intake a bit and I indulged in some Easter chocolate. I didn't have too much and I thoroughly enjoyed what I had but I will be happy when its gone and out of my house. I'm working really hard on eliminating temptation from my apartment.

I didn't work out yesterday...I pulled something in my foot or ankle and it was really uncomfortable. It hurt when I just stepped on it. But Kyle downloaded the Wii Fit Plus and I am excited to try out some of the new games available this week!

Overall, I'm doing pretty well with staying on track and that makes me happy. I don't feel like any difference has been made in my body though...at least not visibly. I know that it is still really early on but I am anxious to start seeing the results of these changes. I guess I'll just have to exercise some patience.

I am really happy that I've managed to remain on track with my eating for the most part and I am learning to balance my points so I can consume them in a healthier manner.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Improvement

So yesterday went pretty well...one of the best days I've had since mid last week.

I ate good food all day and made really yummy ground turkey tacos last night. I didn't eat quite as many veggies as I usually like to but I stayed within my points (under actually) and didn't have any slip ups. I also hopped on the Wii Fit for about 15 minutes last night...not as long as I usually would like to but we got home late and I was exhausted.

I bought a used Ipod last night so I am super excited about that. I'm going to work on getting all my music loaded and making some good work out play lists so I can hit the gym hard next week!

I am a bit frustrated with the Wii Fit though. It "requires" you to take a body test every time you log in so it can measure your progress and mark that you were on that day. I like that it tracks the days that you are on and working out...but I hate that I have to do a body test every single time. I don't want to know my weight progress daily. It just makes me kind of sad and gets me down a little bit. I know I need to be positive about it but it is hard to ignore the BMI scale yelling "OBESE" at me every night. I just wish I could get on there...do some exercises...and do my body test once a week. Oh well...

Anyway...I'm happy with getting back on track yesterday and today should be just as good, if not better!

Oh...I learned that my boyfriend is amazing (though I already knew that) and is working with me to help keep me on track...thanks babe for making me work out last night even when I was pouting...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

No Ipod = No Motivation

So it seems that the music gods have decided to curse me...

BOTH my Ipods have decided to stop functioning...yep...two...

Well...my first one died quite some time ago...everything works but no sound comes out.

Now, my other one has done the same thing. This occurred last week and well...its been devastating...

I can do the Wii Fit with no music obviously...its a video game...there are noises that come along with it. But working out at the gym on the elliptical or treadmill for an hour...at 6:45am...with no music...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

I can't do it. I know that sounds like an excuse but I just can't do it. Working out is hard enough for me right now and the motivation is seriously lacking...but the fact that I have to try and do it, listening to only me breathing and the noise of the machine I'm on...that is just complete torture.

I think I need to invest in a new Ipod (well new to me)...ugh...stupid electronics...

Back on track...sort of...

So yesterday I did pretty well in the food department...at least during most of the day...

I ate really healthy food for both breakfast and lunch. I was super excited to get back on track and regain my stride. I had cottage cheese and cantaloupe for breakfast. Turkey sandwich, string cheese, and wheat thins for lunch. And I had watermelon and sugar snap peas as snacks. I was pretty satisfied with my choices.

For dinner, Kyle made baked ziti. His parents came over to see our apartment finally all put together and his step-dad was going to help me with some credit issues I have been having. I used the recipe builder application on WW online to help me determine the points value of the ziti. I was able to have a decent sized portion (though I would have liked to eat more) for 14 points. His parents brought garlic bread but I passed on it. I still had some points left over after dinner but then the stress eating kicked in. The credit issues did not get resolved the way I had hoped they would and I was left really upset and stressed out. I then started eating...I had a piece of garlic bread...then a Popsicle...then a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg...not exactly staying on track.

I ended up having to use one of my bonus points because the Reese's Egg put me over. I was pretty disappointed in myself. I didn't work out either. This was not the way I wanted to start my week. I know I need to keep pushing and not let this defeat me...but when I get stressed out...the only thing I want to do is stuff my face. I need to find a way to channel that into the desire to exercise.

Its a new day...and so far my choices have been good. Fingers crossed I can stay strong...

Monday, April 25, 2011

Weigh-In #1

Well folks...I weighed myself today for my first weigh in after starting my new "regime"...and I lost 7.3 lbs.

Now...I do need to add a bit of a disclosure to this weight result...I did change the way I weigh in which could have an effect on my weight this time. The first time I weighed myself was last Sunday evening at about 9pm. I had placed my Wii Fit board on two wooden boards (one under each side) to help stabalize it on the carpet and weighed myself that way. I realized though that it wasn't quite as stable as I wanted it to be so I have now started to do my body tests by placing the board in our entry way. It is linoleum so there is no concern about the stability issue like there is with carpet. I also changed my weigh-in day to Mondays because I didn't like the idea of my weekly points reseting on Sundays. I weighed myself at about 7:45am this morning and will continue to do it this way. But weighing myself at different times of day can change my results...sometimes as much as +/- 2lbs. I know that starting off inconsitent wasn't the best practice but I changed it so I can get the most accurate readings possible. I will remain consistent with time and location from here on out.

That being said...I am happy with my results. I know a lot of it is probably water weight and the inconsistency may be contributing. But either way...the number on the scale did not go up. This is so awesome considering I was disappointed in myself for some of my choices this week.

Yesterday was rough...I basically ignored my diet completely. I ate all kinds of food...candy...soda...cheese...and other bad things for me. I got caught up in the holiday and resorted back to my old habits. While I am a little disappointed that I didn't take more care...I am using this as a lesson to remember that slip ups won't derail me and this is just going to motivate me to work hard this week to stay on track.

I've learned that I can make progress, even if I have a few slip ups.

I am happy that my number went down!!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Tough weekend...and I'm only 1 day in...

So I'm now in the middle of the weekend that I've both been looking forward to and slightly dreading.

My parents came into town last night and I'm really glad we get to spend some time together. I don't get to see them often (last visit was over Christmas) so each time we get together, I really enjoy it. Anyway...I knew this weekend was going to be tough on my diet. It is really difficult to remain diligent when company is in town...especially when it is a holiday weekend.

Today was  okay...I didn't make the best food choices but I remained within my points so I suppose that is good at least. We went to Red Robin for lunch with Shannon (which was awesome because my mom finally got to meet my best friend) and I knew that was going to be a challenge for me. I have a WEAKNESS for french fries...as my mother...they are my comfort food. If I'm sick...I want potatoes in the french fried form please. Its been that way since I was a kid. Anyway...I debated and scrutinized the menu and had a really hard time. I ended up ordering a teriyaki chicken sandwich minus the mayo (though I still had cheese)...and I got fries. I should have ordered melon instead but I didn't. When I got home to calculate my points I was at 29 just from lunch (I didn't eat breakfast...which was another bad move on my part). For dinner we got pre-made baked chicken and some sides from the grocery store because we were out and about too late to cook and eat in a reasonable amount of time. I had one chicken breast which, according to WW is 5 points...but the seasoning that they put on it was extremely salty so I may have been off a bit. I also had a bit of coleslaw but passed on the baked beans and rolls. I still have 5 points left so I plan on having some low fat cottage cheese and cantaloupe as "dessert"...even though its way too late to be consuming food.

I am not super ashamed of my progress today, though I know I could've done better. But tomorrow...man...tomorrow is going to be rough to say the very least.

We are going to Toast for breakfast...a fabulous restaurant that makes AMAZING eggs benedict. Then we are going to Kyle's family's house for dinner...with all the trimmings. I just don't know how much will power I have. I mean, I have all my "bonus points" for the week left and I have a few activity points if I need to trade them in. But overall...I'm not sure how much I want to hold back. I mean...obviously I want to stick with my diet and be careful. But I also want to enjoy my day...my family...and the food that we only get to eat a few times a year.

I guess I'll just take tomorrow as it comes and hope I make decent choices.