Ice Cream Sandwich

So today, my boss got back from lunch and had "gifts" for my co-worker and I. He got us these huge chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches...which, incidentally, are one of my favorite novelties.

I have one co-worker (Swill) who has been extremely supportive of my weight-loss journey...he is on one himself so we tend to talk about it and support each other. When my boss handed me the treat, I sat there and stared at it for a second. Swill looked at me and said he told him not to do it. But he had anyway. So there I stood, with a melting ice cream in my hand. They said I could give it away (with much razzing from my boss), so I did. I walked up to Jen and begged her to take it and do something with it. She took it quickly (and thankfully) and I walked back to my desk having consumed zero ice cream.

So why am I upset?! Shouldn't I be proud of my decision to walk away from an unplanned and unnecessary treat?

I know I made the right decision and I am proud that I took control and gave it away. I know those are the choices I need to make in order to continue to be successful. But right now, I am just bummed. I miss being able to just enjoy food and not think about it constantly (and my excess enjoyment is why I am here in the first place). I mean, I do still enjoy food and I do allow myself treats sometimes. But some days (like today) I feel like its a battle and I am not in the mood to fight.

I know I am just in a bit of a funk today and my mood is twisting my good decision into negativity. I just need to get out of this mood I'm stuck in.