Weight-In #6

Week 6 weight loss: 1.1 lbs
Total weight loss so far: 16.8 lbs

I did weigh myself on Monday but I was not in the mood to sit down and blog about it...so its getting posted a day late.

I am not exactly satisfied with my weigh-in results but I am also no surprised. I didn't exercise at all last week (outside of a lazy, 15min walk with Kyle one evening) and my eating the last 3 days was sporadic and not really on track.

I woke up on Friday morning feeling okay and looking forward to the long weekend. I had some awesome plans and I was really excited to get the opportunity to relax a bit. Well, on the way to work my throat started to hurt...nothing excruciating but a nuisance none the less. But as the day went on, things progressively got worse. I started to feel achy, feverish, and swallowing became difficult...lovely...sickness was just what I wanted. Things just got worse so I went to the doctor on Saturday morning. Turned out I had strep throat.

Fabulous. Yay for my 3-day weekend getting thrown in the trash.

So I laid around and felt miserable all weekend. I ate when I could but mostly just consumed my weight in water and Gatorade. I stayed within my points all weekend (even though I had KFC for dinner on Saturday) but I didn't come close to meeting my GHG's all weekend (except for my liquid).

Thanks to antibiotics, I am slowly starting to feel better. Mornings are worse but I'm getting there. I'm back on track today in terms of WW and I'm hoping I can get some exercise in this week. I have a photo shoot tonight but I plan on trying to hit the gym in the evenings in hopes that it will turn out better than my attempts at mornings. Hopefully I'll be back to 100% tomorrow so I can get back on track and knock off the last 14lbs...

Delicious Disaster

Yep, that's right...last night was a delicious disaster!

I originally planned to make ground turkey tacos for dinner last night...but Kyle's parents invited us over for dinner. Obviously we said yes...I mean, how could I say no to free food, fun people, and no cooking on my part?

Well, I had about 20pts left for the day...which is usually more than enough for dinner. I was prepared to eat whatever they were preparing, even if I had to skip bread or something. I was prepared, that is, until they announced that his mom was making fettuccini alfredo.

Oh my gosh...I swear my heart skipped a beat. Maryann's fettuccini is to DIE for. Seriously. It is all the bad things that taste oh so wonderful. She makes the sauce from scratch using butter, heavy whipping cream, Parmesan cheese, and garlic. Then she tosses it with fresh pasta and crumbled up pieces of crisp bacon. Heaven.

So there I am, scrambling to decide whether or not I should skip the alfredo and just eat some salad (like that was really ever an option). Obviously, I had alfredo...and I did not skimp on the portion. Every single rich, creamy bite was worth every single calorie entering into my body.

I was then left to try and decide if I was going to track it and see the damage...or just pretend it didn't happen and hang my head in a pasta-driven shame.

I tracked it...and while I probably was way off on my portions (I said I ate 2 cups worth...but honestly I have no clue if that is right) and 1 1/2 slices of bacon (it was crumbled but I guess-timated). WW had fettuccini alfredo listed at 9pts per cup...I have no idea how the one on the site is prepared but I went with it because there was no way I was going to try and break apart the ingredients. I ended up eating something like 20pts just for the pasta. Totally and completely worth it.

I figure one night isn't going to kill me and as long as I don't let it get me off track on other days I'll be just fine.

I'm really happy that I actually let myself enjoy the meal rather than stress over it the whole time. And I learned that, no matter the diet or lifestyle change, I will always have a weakness for good pasta.

Apathy?

I feel apathetic?

I place a question mark afterwards because I am not sure if that is the correct term. In fact, I know its not. So why I chose it in the first place, I don't really know. Except that is how I feel in the mornings.

I set my alarm for 6:30am every morning with the intention of waking up and hauling my lazy ass to the gym. And every morning for the past 3 weeks, I have just rolled over and reset my alarm for 7:30am. Disgusting.

I think today was probably the worst day. I woke up at 6:30am and was as close to wide-awake as I feel I could be for that early. You would think that I would have gotten up...gotten dressed...and busted my butt at the gym for awhile. Did I do that? Of course not. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

I am super disappointed in myself. I have no excuse. I have no reason. I just didn't do it.

Something has to change.

I have been feeling extremely apathetic, somewhat depressed, and quite anti-social lately. Not entirely sure what it is. It may be the weather...maybe its the fact that I am completely dissatisfied with my current employment situation...maybe its my frustration with my inability to find a teaching job (and the multiple rejection emails I receive weekly)...maybe its stress. I don't know. But something has to change.

I have hit a wall that I am determined to break down, one way or another.

Please, let me have the strength to break it down...

Weigh-In #5

Weight loss this week: 2.2lbs
Total weight loss so far: 15.3lbs

So I'm really happy that my weight continues to go down and I seem to be doing pretty well in the program. I don't feel like I'm depriving myself and, while I do sometimes miss being able to eat without measuring everything that goes into my mouth, I am still enjoying WW.

I did do a bit of comfort eating and snacking this weekend. I stayed within my points (dipping into my weeklies...but I am trying to eat those anyway per advice from other WW members) but some of my choices could have been better. Friday night was a bit emotional for a number of reasons and when things finally calmed down, all I wanted was "bad" food. So I ate Chef Boyardee Ravioli and an WW ice cream bar. Not the best dinner but I suppose it happens.

Saturday was wonderful! I went for a walk at Wash Park with Nicole and little Channing...it was so much fun and it was great to catch up with her and play with Channing (he is getting so big!). I also got in like 20 minutes of activity which was good. Kyle and I then went out to lunch. We went to Pho-natic...I couldn't kick my Vietnamese craving and after much thought, I realized that it really isn't bad for me (its basically grilled chicken, rice noodles, veggies, and fish sauce). The gigantic bowl you get was only 14 points and I ate it for two meals. We then ran some errands and in the middle of that, got some Starbucks (another craving I haven't been able to kick)...I got a Light Mocha Frap...so delicious and I couldn't taste the difference at all. Best treat I've had so far!

Yesterday was a "snacky" kind of day...we just kinda hung around the house and relaxed. I made these Grands! Ham and Cheese melts...they were really good, really heavy, and not really good for me. I also baked these chocolate coconut cookies that I found on WW. They were supposed to be vegan but it called for coconut oil which is REALLY expensive, so I substituted butter instead. They are pretty good but they aren't really cookie like. They have more of a cake texture and they didn't flatten out...but rather stayed in awkward little lumps. They are really small but are only 1 point a piece so they'll come in handy when I need a little chocolate fix.

Overall though, I'm pretty satisfied with my progress. Still spending an obscene amount of money on groceries and I still have a running grocery list at all times. But I'm happy with my progress and I'm hoping I'll get to my 30lbs mark by July 15...only 15 more pounds to go! :)

M&M's

I gave into today...

I purchased some M&M's from the vending machine at work...

6 points for the whole bag...I'm currently working through half now and plan on eating the other half after dinner...

And they are TOTALLY worth it!

I have been craving chocolate for about a week now and after consulting with some people on the WW message boards, I realized that it is okay to have treats every now and then. That is why I liked WW in the first place...it is livable, there is freedom, and you can lose weight without cutting things you love out of your life completely.

I'll be honest...I do still feel a little guilty about giving in...but I have the points available for it...I know it won't derail me as long as I don't do it all the time...and let me tell you...they taste soooo good.

Cravings...and cupcakes...

So yesterday one of my co-workers brought in cupcakes for the owner's birthday that his fiance made. She owns a cake business and her cake and cupcakes are wonderful. Anyway...these cupcakes aren't ordinary cupcakes...one was a white chocolate raspberry cupcake with a Chambord soak...the other was a tiramisu cupcake with chocolate cover espresso bean. Yum, right? Well...I resisted. I was taunted all day by co-workers talking about how wonderful they are (one even telling me that I was stupid for not having one and intentionally eating it in front of me to be spiteful) and I was taunted by the cupcakes themselves as I walked past them multiple times. But I managed to resist and I did not have one. I was quite proud of myself. It wasn't so much that I couldn't "afford" the points of the cupcake...it was more to prove to myself that I have enough will-power to walk away from food that I don't NEED.

But today...I have some serious cravings that I am struggling to suppress. First...I want this amazing Vietnamese chicken noodle bowl at this place called Pho-natic. I had never had Vietnamese before a few months back when the company I work for all went out to lunch there for a birthday celebration. Let me tell you...its amazing! Cool, soft rice noodles, perfectly grilled and seasoned chicken, fresh veggies, and this amazing fish sauce (I don't know what it is exactly...nor do I understand why I like it cause I don't enjoy fish...but it is sweet and delicious)...all mixed up to make a wonderful, light, yummy lunch.

I also really want Starbucks. I want a gigantic mocha frap...or an iced caramel latte...mmmmm. I haven't had Starbucks in forever and there are "skinny" options that are fewer points but I still shouldn't indulge like that.

Honestly...the only real thing that is keeping me from indulging on both these things is money. But that excuse is starting to wane...I'm finding ways around it and that is BAD! But we are going to be downtown all evening because we have free tickets to the Comedy Works...and we won't be able to go home for dinner because the show starts at 8pm...and Pho-natic is only a block away from where I work...and there is a Starbucks just as close. Ahh...first time since on WW that I am really craving food but let me tell you...its killer.

Weigh-In #4

Weight-loss for week 4: 2.6 lbs
Total weight-loss: 13.5 lbs

So I am pretty happy with last weeks results...way better than week 3! My weight is steadily decreasing and while I sometimes wish more would come off, I know I should be proud of what I've accomplished so far.

I did really well with my food last week and I found a lot of support on the WW message boards. The people on there offer great advice and have helped me with a lot of questions that I just couldn't find the answers to. I managed to get in my healthy oils the last few days which is great and I've been rocking the healthy choices.

I have been spending a LOT of money on groceries though...its been really difficult. It has definitely but some serious dents in my bank account (I'm spending at least $100 a week...I dropped almost $200 this weekend). I know part of it is I am still adjusting to the diet, figuring out what staples I need to have in my house, and stocking up on good foods (so I am prepared if there is a week or two when I can't afford groceries). But fruits and veggies are really expensive too...especially because you have to replenish constantly in order to keep fresh food around. While I am okay with spending the money because I want to do this right...I fear I may hit a point where I can't afford it anymore.

I was pretty proud of myself yesterday...I rocked it in the food category. Weekends tend to be especially difficult for me because if I am home watching movies or TV with Kyle, my snacking habits kick in. I also tend to have a hard time reaching my fruits and veggies. Well, yesterday was no problem. I had a whole wheat English muffin with peanut butter and a cup of coffee for breakfast. An awesome salad with roast beef, feta, tons of veggies, and balsamic vinaigrette. Snacks included fruit, hummus with pita and carrots, and some WW ice cream bars. For dinner I made turkey burgers (first attempt at burgers...ever...did pretty well) and home-made chili fries (with chili powder and cumin). I messed up the fries a bit because I poured the excess coating over them before baking and it caused them to stick to the pan really bad...but they still tasted good. I was really proud of my day!

Exercise is still difficult for me. I have been so so tired this last week. I'm not sure if it has to do with my body getting used to my new medication or if its the weather or what. But hopefully I'll get into gear this week.

Overall, I'm pretty satisfied with my progress. I'm getting into the swing of my diet more and realizing that this is not a diet of a lifestyle change. I learned that I am making a permanent change for the better in my life. And I am so unbelievably happy that I have some AMAZING people in my life supporting me!

PS...if you left comments on my previous posts...thank you...I did not delete them. For some reason, blogspot.com decided the erase almost all my comments...which really bums be out because I looked back on them for encouragement. But your support is very appreciated! :)

Daily Point Distribution and New Goals...

With my current number of points (45) per day, I need to be distributing as such (or as close as possible):

Breakfast: 7 points
Lunch: 12 points
Dinner: 16 points
Snacks: 5 points each (twice a day)

I am going to start posting how my points distribute out in hopes that I will learn to balance more.
Today my points are set out (thus far) as follows:

Breakfast: 6 points
Lunch: 16 points
Dinner: ? Its Grey's Anatomy tonight so my dinners tend to not be as planned on Thursdays.
Snacks: 3 points (as planned...I haven't eaten them yet, and I also have the option to add another 3 points if I am hungry and fruit isn't satisfying me).

I'm doing better today than I have been because my lunch is pretty high on points.

I also have a few short term goals that I want to hit.

First, my goal is to start choosing "healthier" snacks that are higher in fiber and protein and not just senseless carbs. I plan on purchasing some hummus and pita bread, peanuts, celery and peanut butter, and avocado to help boost my snacks.

Second, I want to lose 30 pounds (total...so 20 more to go) by July 15th.

Third, I want to buy a new pair of jeans by July that are at least one size smaller than my current ones. I ripped one of my two pairs of jeans that I own last night but I am going to try and repair them because I refuse to purchase more clothing at my size. Hopefully I will hit my goal by July so I can buy something new before my trip.

And last but not least, I want to go to the gym 5 mornings a week. I know I said that previously but I think I just need to reiterate it for myself because I have obviously been struggling with that. I'm also hoping for warm weather this weekend so Kyle and I can go for a walk at the park!

So that's my update for the day...these are my new goals. Fingers crossed I keep my determination and motivation!

A little frustrated...

So, here I am...halfway through my fourth week...and I'm a bit unhappy with my progress.

I mean, I have definitely made some changes in terms of my eating...and I am happy about those. But I still feel like I'm doing something wrong. I follow my points...I track like a madman...and I try really hard to eat healthy things. But I still love to snack and I fear I am overeating. I am just really struggling with making healthy food choices but eating all of my points. I choose low-point items for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (most of the time) and I try to snack on fruits and veggies when I'm hungry. But then I realize I am left with tons of points. So I have tried to incorporate more snacks that have points like crackers, chex mix, veggie straws, etc. but then I fear that I am eating all the wrong things because these are not whole grain or low fat.

I also am having a hard time meeting some of my "Good Health Guidelines"...these are check marks you are supposed to hit daily (5 servings of veggies, 6 glasses of water, 2 servings of dairy, 2 servings of healthy oils, multivitamin, and 30 min of exercise). I hit the veggies, the water, and the vitamin nearly every day. But apparently a yogurt cup isn't a full serving of dairy...and neither is string cheese (which are my two dairy staples for the day). I have been trying to not add cheese because it is a lot of points and I don't generally like to drink a lot of milk. But I need to get my servings. Healthy oil is another hard one for me...they recommend putting in on veggies or salads or cooking with it...but it seems to be a difficult goal for me to reach. And exercise...geez...I just can't get in the swing of it. I didn't go Monday because my stomach was really bothering me. I went yesterday before my doctor appointment but I only lasted 15 minutes because my stomach hurt and I couldn't seem to catch my breath. I did 15 minutes on the Wii Fit yesterday as well but I really don't feel like I worked hard enough. I didn't go to the gym today because I woke up not feeling well (my throat aches and my stomach is still bugging me a bit) and it was rainy and dark out so my motivation to crawl out of bed an hour early was non-existent.

And top it all off with the fact that I had to go on a new kind of medication because what I was on is unhealthy because of my high BP...and apparently this has a lot of side-effects that I was not made aware of...one of which is heavy weight gain. Just what I need right now...

I'm just feeling really down on myself. I know I need to be positive. I know I need to keep pushing. And I know that things will get better. But right now...all I want to do is crawl under the covers and hide.

I am sick of feeling like a grump...

Weigh-In #3

Weight Loss for Week 3: .9lbs
Total Weight Loss: 10.9lbs

So...I am a bit disappointed with my weigh-in results this week...actually...I would say I'm a lot more than "a bit" disappointed. Losing less than a pound in one week sucks. I know I should be happy that the scale went down...but still, I was hoping for something more than that.

As a whole, I had a decent week. I did snack more than I had been in the previous weeks (I bought some Chex Mix...which is one of my favorite snacks and one that I can eat in large quantities if I allow myself) but I always remained within my points. I did not exercise much though and I think that may be part of it. I went to the gym twice last week but I didn't use the Wii Fit at all.

This weekend was also had a rough time. I went out on Friday...and I had a few drinks. Now, I did not have nearly as many as I had "planned" for...I only had 2 light beers and 2 shots. I had all my bonus points for the week so I was okay there. But...on my way home at 1am...being just a wee bit intoxicated...I was hungry and desperately wanted Taco Bell. Kyle wanted it to...so I went against my better judgement and went. I ate a 5-Layer burrito and then called it a night (I had purchased a bean burrito also but I ended up eating it for dinner on Sunday). So I ate fast food...which I have been trying really hard to avoid. I still stayed within my bonus points and I didn't have to cash in any activity points. But I am a little disappointed in myself.

I just need to work really hard this week to stay on track and work out consistently. Weight Watchers Online has a lot of message boards and challenges and stuff that you can participate it. I was looking at them this weekend and there is a challenge I am debating on trying. Its called 100 days of exercise...and the goal is to work out for at least 30minutes for 100 days...no skipping. I think I'm going to give it a try but I am going to look at more challenges too. I just need to step up my game if I want the weight to come off faster.

Its been a few days...

There hasn't been a lot of excitement this week...so I took a few days away from the blog to try to avoid feeling too repetitive. Although, it will probably sound pretty repetitive.

This week I have done pretty well. I skipped the gym on Wednesday morning because I slept through my alarm...Whoops! But I went again on Thursday...and once again, the little old man kicked my butt! He did about 15 minutes on the bike and then went and programmed in 50 minutes on the treadmill! I left before he completed (I was only there for 30 minutes) but I was impressed...and jealous. But I know the gym will start becoming easier for me as time goes on.

I ate pretty well all week...had some improvisational dinners but they were okay. I discovered my new favorite snack...cucumbers, tomatoes, and mushrooms cut up into bite size pieces and drizzled with a bit of light balsamic vinaigrette...mmmmm...so good! Tonight I am making spaghetti squash for the first time and am pretty excited...the recipe I found is a garlic-kielbasa spaghetti squash. It sounds delicious and I'm excited to try something completely new!

I'm going out dancing tomorrow night...which I'm super excited for...but I am also a bit nervous...it will be my first "experience" with alcohol since I started my diet. I know its okay to have fun and splurge every once in awhile...but I also need to try to keep track and that's where I know I will struggle. I know what kind of drinks I should have...and I know what kind of drinks I will WANT to have. I should have light beer...or gin and tonics...or rum and diet soda. What I want to have is long island ice teas, tequila sunrises, and cape cods. Plus...if we do shots (I don't know if we will or not)...how in the heck do I calculate points for the "girly" ones, especially when I generally don't even know whats in them?! I am probably over-reacting about the whole situation. I have saved all my bonus points for Saturday and I also have some activity points I can cash in...so I'm sure I'll be fine. Unless I'm confronted with drunken munchies...

I'll definitely update you on the weekend...wish me luck!

I got shown up by a little old man...

I finally got my butt to the gym this morning...first time I've been in one since college (which is quite embarrassing to admit). As I was walking in, a little old man with a cane followed behind me. We exchanged pleasantries and then went to our individual work-outs. I hoped on a cross-trainer elliptical...he got on a stationary bike. I was there...huffing and puffing my way through 20 minutes...while he busted out 15 minutes on the bike and moved himself to an elliptical machine. I had to leave after only 20 minutes because I got a later start than originally planned (turns out my body does NOT enjoy functioning an hour earlier than normal)...and this little old man was still truckin' through. My new goal...beat this old man!

I was really excited that I made it to the gym today. And yesterday I did pretty well. We made sesame chicken for dinner from a WW recipe...it was not very good...it was way too "gingery" and it called for maple syrup which made it too sweet. I would use it again but I want to find a way to make it more spicy...less sweet...and way less ginger. I did do a little snacking when we got home cause dinner was taking forever...but I still did okay.

I am trying not the get discouraged that I am not seeing the results of my work...I mean...I know its way too early to see results but I want to so badly. 10 lbs down and I still feel just as fat as I did two weeks ago. I know it takes time...and I'm trying really hard to be patient.

I'm really happy I got to the gym...and I plan on keeping it up.
I learned that it is never too early...or too late...to get and stay in shape!

Weigh-In #2

Weight loss last week: 2.7 lbs.
Total weight loss so far: 10 lbs.

Overall, I'm pretty happy with my weigh-in results. Its a lot lower than last week but I expected that because I assumed most of last week was water weight. I am glad I lost again and 10lbs in two weeks its really exciting for me. I just hope I can keep it up!

The last few days have been rough...I was still feeling really ill until Sunday morning. So I didn't eat much on Friday or Saturday. Dani and Jess came over for dinner on Friday and I was going to make sesame chicken but because my stomach was so out of whack we just ordered pizza. I didn't want to make a meal that I had been excited to try out and then not be able to eat it. I ate two small slices of chicken pesto pizza which I figured was a better alternative to pepperoni. Saturday all I ate was a small bowl of cereal, some Baked Lays, and a few other small things here and there...definitely didn't hit my points quota. I ate all my points yesterday which was good cause my stomach was feeling better. I did not eat as many fruits and veggies as I have been trying to...I think weekends are going to be a serious challenge for me in that department.

Exercising was also placed on the back-burner last week because of my stomach issues. I didn't work out at all this weekend either. But now that I am feeling better, I am confident that I will get back on track this week. I finally got my new Ipod loaded with my music and tonight I plan on developing some awesome work-out playlists. I also got a Zumba exercise game for the Wii that I'm really excited to try. I think this is going to be a good week.

I am happy that I managed to lose again this week, even with all of my setbacks.
I learned that weekends are going to be a challenge but I am up for it...