Sunday, December 18, 2011

Lots to update...

Man, I didn't realize its been over a month since I posted an update...I'll try and give as much information as I can...

Total weight loss so far: 51.9 lbs

I hit my 50 lb lost mark two weeks before I went on vacation. I was thrilled! I didn't think I was going to do it and it was a total surprise. I treated myself to a hair cut and felt really good. Then things went downhill...

The week before vacation, I was sort of bad when it came to food. I did a lot of snacking and indulging at work. Then I went out to dinner with Shannon and Nicole and wound up eating a buffalo chicken sandwich, fries, ranch, and drinking some very fruity (and high calorie) drinks. I had a blast and, while I considered not doing so, I tracked everything. I weighed in at my mom's house (because we were leaving early on Tuesday) and managed to lose .9 lbs so I was relieved...I didn't want to have a gain two weeks in a row.

So we left for vacation...and my eating went to hell. I didn't even PRETEND to try. I was eating fast food, fried food, sweets, drinking alcohol, and not measuring a single thing. Even my pre-measured snacks for the road trip didn't help. I knew that I would struggle but I had hoped I would have a little more will power. I don't regret any of it...I had an amazing time and enjoyed every bit. But I thought I would have had some more internal control by now. When I got back and weighed in, I was up 5 pounds...not my proudest moment.

Since being back (about 3 weeks now), I have been losing but struggling to really stay on track. I've slipped back into not weighing and measuring everything and I have been snacking at work (and even at home) more than I should. I have slowly been improving and working on holding myself accountable, even when I'm ashamed of my eating habits. I try and go back and track everything because when I neglect my tracker I feel even more guilty. Thankfully, the holidays are almost over so I'm hoping some of the temptation will go away.

I'm just trying really hard to get re-focused and remember why I am doing this. I don't want to be over 200lbs for the rest of my life...I'd really like to be close to my goal weight by this time next year. So I need to go back, review my plan, and stop making excuses and justifications. I know what I need to do...just got to kick my own butt in gear...