So I know I didn't update last week's weigh-in...sorry about that. I spend so much time on my computer and phone for work that blogging is the last thing on my mind most days.
I lost .4 lbs last week taking my grand total to 41.1 lbs lost so far.
I'm not disappointed in my progress in weight loss. I'm still extremely excited that I've managed to lose 40 lbs since mid-April. What I'm disappointed in is myself and my motivation...or rather, lack there of.
I cannot seem to get into the swing of exercising. I don't know what it is...I don't know if its a mental thing or if I'm lazy or if there is something else going on. I'm just so tired...a lot. I know most of it is due to working long hours, working a job that requires me to think (something I haven't had to do in over a year and a half), and stress (both work and personal). But the ironic thing is that exercise would very likely help relieve my stress and boost my energy...sounds like something I should want to do, right? I do WANT to do it...I do. But I guess I just lack the internal motivation to do so. I have thought about trying to get a personal trainer but I honestly couldn't afford it even if I tried. So, what do I do?
I set my alarm every night with enough time for me to get up and work out for an hour in the morning. Do I get up? Of course not! I reset my alarm and wake up at the last possible moment. I tell myself I'll work out after work. Do I make it to the gym? Of course not! I come home, plant myself on the couch, and watch tv while I work. I tell myself I'll go for a walk in the evenings. Has that happened? Once...and not again since then, even though I've said it almost every single day since. What the hell is wrong with me?
The Dirty Girl Mud Run is 2 weeks away...2 weeks! I haven't even walked 3.2 miles yet. I am going to embarass the hell out of myself...I'm honestly just praying that adrenenline will carry me through most of it.
I'm embarrassed that I can't even motivate myself enough to do the things that I need to do to be healthy. Yes, my eating habits have improved significantly and I'm still losing weight. But I NEED to exercise...I know I'll feel better about myself and actually start seeing my weight loss. I mean...40 lbs later and I'm still wearing the same pants I wore when I started. They may be loose...but I can still wear them. I dunno...maybe I'm throwing myself a pity party. Maybe I just need to kick myself in the ass somehow. Maybe I'm scared I can't really do this.
Whatever it is...it sucks.
I wish I could tell you some magic way to motivate yourself, but unfortunately there isn't one. If there was, I'd be better about a LOT of things. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat I can tell you is that I'm still extremely impressed by you. 40lbs is a big deal! And while it would be great to exercise and all, it's still a big deal that you've done what you have. I hope you find the motivation to take it to the next level, and that you discover the benefits of it.
And then, of course, let me know how to get motivated.
Don't be so hard on yourself steph! You are doing so great and look awesome! And your job is a bit crazy... If you spend too much time guilting yourself it will just create a vicious cycle. What about a work out buddy?
ReplyDeleteSweetie you can do it and you are doing it, don't give up and a pity party is ok, every now and again. Exercise is not fun, but you will get into it, give yourself a break, you have done amazingly well and I am so very proud of you. Thanks for the call today, it meant alot. Luv u bunches.
ReplyDeleteJust keep swimming, just keep swimming...exercise is hard - and it is hard to get motivated - but you will get there. I love going for walks in the evening...nothing strenuous but enough to get my heart beating and it feels amazing afterward. There is no rule that says you have to be dripping sweat and panting after you exercise - as long as you get moving. And you are right - it will greatly reduce your stress - even if you only take 15 minutes in the evening - you will be amazed at how good you feel. We are all so proud of you so don't beat yourself up! Love and Kisses!!
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