Here it goes...

Well...here I am...starting something that both excites me and terrifies me at the same time...but before all that, I suppose I should start from the beginning...

I weigh 299lbs. I cannot even begin to express how hard that was for me to type...truly...I debated about excluding that information when I decided to start blogging out of disgust and shame...I even deleted it a few times after typing it. But I decided if I am going to do this I need to do it right. Let me preface this with the knowledge that I am writing this blog for myself...I am not writing this for pity or for anyone elses' benefit. This is for me in the hopes that this will add another level of accountability. If you choose to read about my journey...great! Welcome. But please don't judge. Don't make assumptions. And know that I am aware that this is long overdue.

I am 24, overweight, and unhappy with my health and appearance. I have always been overweight (even as a child) and it is something I had grown comfortable in. I had accepted my role as the "fat friend" and at times, I even embraced it. But I have always had serious issues with my weight. I make jokes and pretend it doesn't bother me but I can't count how many times I have cried over my appearance. I am tired of crying and making myself promises that I consistently fail to keep. I have made "resolutions" of working out and eating better but my commitment was never strong enough. Sleeping an extra hour always seemed better and ice cream dominated over salad any day. And because of these choices, I have become what I am today. Ashamed and disgusted. I cannot live like this anymore. Not only because I hate the way I look...but because I am beyond unhealthy. I don't want to grow old like this...I don't want to live my life in this body anymore. This change is going to happen and it is starting today.

After much debate and research...I have decided to embark on a journey of multiple changes. I have started the online Weight Watchers program. For those of you who don't know how this works...I am allowed a certain number of "food points" (each food item is assigned a number of points based off of the content of fat, carbohydrates, protein, and fiber) each day. This will assist me in making better food choices (as healthier foods have less points and can therefore be consumed more easily) and working on portion control. I am also embarking on a new exercise routine. I recently purchased a Wii Fit (which is going to be my weight loss monitor as well) and I have a 24 hour gym at my apartment complex. My plan is to go to the gym in the mornings before work 5 days a week to complete 45minutes to an hour of cardio. I then plan on using the Wii Fit to work on other areas in the evenings 6-7 days a week for at least 30 minutes. I am also currently taking a weight loss supplement (for just the first few months) to hopefully kick my weight-loss into high gear (I do not want to hear about how bad supplements are...I have done research and this is my decision).
So...this is my plan.

I hope to get down to at least 180lbs. This seems like an unobtainable number to be completely honest...I can't remember when I was down that low. That means I have 120lbs to lose. While I don't have a time limit on this (I am well aware that this is going to be a long process and a lifetime change), I do have smaller goals to help me keep moving forward when I get discouraged. My current short term goal is to be able to fit into a pair of jeans that I can purchase at a regular clothing store (i.e Target, Kohls, etc.). I have been forced to purchase jeans at plus size clothing stores for years now and I am tired of it. I currently wear a size 22/24 (depending on the jeans and the store)...I want to fit into a 16/18. I also have the goal of losing at least 30lbs by July...I am visiting family in California at that time and I hope to be a thinner version of my current self.

I will be posting charts, taking pictures, tracking my progress, and admitting setbacks. This is my journey...these are the necessary changes.